I had to learn to love from a distance

So quick to judge how others move
I’m just sitting learning to live life
With nothing prove
Its hurts me to know the ones I love
Aren’t near
But it’s hurts me more when I’m alone wiping my tears
Pride isn’t my heart
And neither is malice
So when you talk about me
Understand I was challenged
To either become a victim to selfish ways
Or become victor and enjoy my days
So I decided to Stay the same ,
Respect the ones that embrace change
Respect the ones that don’t live in vain
Or cry everyone but me
needs to change
Reflecting is hardest part of this journey and so is being a slave to worry
I refuse to worry about those who don’t worry about me
Or cry out loud , does anyone see ???
We need to value life
And smile just cause we breathe
Even through heart ache and misery
Financial difficulties , abandonment
are you getting me?
Nah , it’s probably to hard for you to see ,
See , but nothing was handed to me , I fought to breathe , fought to see , fought to change the things that weren’t working for me
That’s why I don’t judge anyone for their ways , I respect the process and let god lead the way …

By Rachel Shundari Ullah

THE NEW ME

I am a Woman
Full of strength
Dignity, integrity and faith
Try to step on my toes
You’ll see
I’ll sit back and
Patiently wait
And let God deal with your ways
I won’t prey on your downfall
I’ll pray he shows you the way
Humble you and make you better
Then yesterday
Trust me
My ways have changed
In the past
I would have
Emotionally vented
And let you feel my pain
I was capable
Of being cold-hearted
Didn’t have to force it
With no remorse in my heart
Because you caused it
But you’re not worth my words
Or my actions
Because hate no longer
Runs through my veins
Don’t get it twisted,
I’m not a push over
Just too mature
For these immature ways….

Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

ALL CRIED OUT

Broken hearted
Tears no longer In my eyes
My thoughts are Streaming down my face
I’m losing hope
Humiliated
Losing faith
Feeling Abandoned
Alone
Having to figure Life out Once again
I rather you keep it real
But you choose
To play with my Heart instead
I closed my eyes long enough
I had enough
I held you down
You pierced my heart Time and time again
Now all I see
Is the reminder
Memories playing
Over and over again
You cheated
You denied
You even cried
And said what I heard was lies
Pictures we took
Remind me of a disguise
Keep it real
Confusion, pain and hurt
Is the only Thing
You consistently provide
All the times I let shit fly
Don’t be mad
My tears, finally running dry
And it’s my time to shine….

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Dear Shooter

Dear shooter ,
Blood stains left
on the sidewalks
Body bags
Yellow tape
Why don’t think about the consequences
You’re going to have to face
Or the families
that’s you’re
effecting everyday
What made you live like this
Is it because
what you’ve been through
I’m not talking in the streets
I’m speaking of internal pain
, the unseen , the pain that creeps
I’m talking about the trauma
that stood with you
And today triggers
your emotions
I’m talking
about the money you never had
before you started flaunting
I’m talking about the
power you never felt
Until you held gun
in your hand
I’m talking about emotionally
venting because
You believe
know one will understand
Is it self-defense
that made you take it so far
Or is you never thinking you
Would do Any harm .
Did you black out thinking about
All the things you allowed in the past
Are you not scared to die
because
You don’t realize
this to shall pass
Are you tired fighting
And screaming out for attention
Or
Are you trying to prove a point
while
no one listens
What’s is it
Let’s get to the bottom this
Don’t be ashamed to mention
What it is I haven’t mentioned …..

By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Never Broken 

Broken , Me ? get the best of me ? 

Trust me 

That’s something 

you’ll never see 

You think 

I would allow your 

manipulative ways 

To suffocate me ? 

You must be crazy 

See the minute you met me 

you should of did your homework 

really got to know me 

A damsel in distress

 Not me 

I’ll stay lonely before you get me to cry you a river 

A soul like mine 

will eat a soul like yours for dinner 

I’m no intentional sinner 

But your coming for my heart  

You’re a soul digger 

I’m about spiritually pull the trigger 

Heart wrenching , soul searching , 

Hiding truths

You won’t even let your eyes penetrate mine 

Your probably scared , terrified 

See you’re not built to go to war with a woman like me . Spiritually , mentally , even physically you couldn’t hang with me . 

the minute your eyes were on me 

You called it distraction 

probably 

Scared of being with a main attraction. 

A Queen that deserves more than a fraction 

Of who you are today 

A “boy “to a prince not yet a King … that’s why you don’t know how to embrace a Queen like me …                                                           

   
By Rachel Shundari Ullah … 

Bring HIP HOP Back

God where are you
Confusion traveling
down my face
I’m just a child
I’m silently
crying out
Why me , why me
Watching my mother cry
Because my father
Believes there’s no other way
We are Surrounded by poverty
nowhere to turn
So I run the streets with hopes
of the most high
giving me a turn
Special handshakes
Remind me of what
I Never Want to be
My SPIRIT is crying out
please save me
Waking down the street
Watching everybody fight To eat
I’m starting to feel
like the devils meat
Until I hear a sound that makes
my heart skip a beat
Music is my soul provider
And dancing becomes my sanity
Music brings
the community together
it’s called unity
Looking for peace
Something the politicians
Hate to see
They rather see
Parents hearts that bleed
Faith lost
Family and friends
lost by the sword
My freedom of expression
becomes my voice
Hip Hop is my prayer
I am Praying for peace
spiritually
But God doesn’t seem to hear me
So I take it to a new level
Fall to my knees
And pray that God intervenes
Dear God ,
I’ve lost faith the devil
is showing me so much pain ,
I don’t know where to go
Teach me your ways
Dancing and music
Take the pain away
But lord I believe there’s another way
I don’t only want you to save me
I want you to restore faith

By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Lets water our roots 

You seen we were planting seeds 

Full of grace 

Full of love 

Full of faith

Stronger then 

your average 

You are 

scared of the truth 

The youth

we are breeding 

have more strength 

then you  

So now you show your spirit of hate 

So that mothers and fathers lose faith 

can’t run a red light 

can’t get away with a fight

Stealing isn’t easy 

Or selling drugs on the block 

Could easily get you locked 

But you could abduct a child 

And expect me not be shocked 

What I’m learning is the truth 

Media lies 

The devil plots 

Gods people cry 

Hate crimes at all time high 

You want take our eyes off 

What’s really happen

Politics is monopoly 

buildings built 

While people 

broken down 

Money has to 

 stay in circle 

So they must 

disgrace our crown 

Sacrificial duties 

Religion is a money game 

Life happens to all 

I can guarantee you 

all the emotions

 they come with 

are the same 

So in order for us 

to stay ahead of the game 

We need comradery . 

Not a community 

of self absorbed 

People living in vein 

With platforms but 

won’t share with 

those that have 

something powerful to say !! 

By Rachel Shundari Ullah