Stop running !!!

I will never again allow myself to become fixated on the things that get me intoxicated ….
Who I am can’t be duplicated only solidified by how I move and the things I say .
Perfect example like not being heard I’m not going to yell scream I’m just going go on my way
and surround myself around the people who get what I say .
I know the things I talk about is deep , deeper the then your mind is probably willing creep .
Deep cause the thoughts I’m not scared to say
so the things that I say make you want run and not face your demons
so rather dance with the devil and hide your pain . Do you really think your pain is going to vanish like the wind that touches your face
or are you that scared of the truth so continue to do what you do .
Like going out every night having fun selling your soul to the devil so you can’t see
now you wonder why you can’t breathe or sleep at peace with life tugging at your mind .
Not having faith that Gods by your side .
Have you ever thought your soul was tainted and being integrated by good and bad
that’s why things don’t go as planned .
Don’t you believe that a devil has a plan to bring you down and keep away and never think of heavens face .
So take another one to the head as long as you feel whole
but really your just really another lost soul … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Sniff this ….

Sitting in the dark but seeing the light , understanding life , nothing ever comes as a surprise .
Forgetting all the pain and all my struggles in the past
today is a new day so your words will not last .
Coming from a warrior and princess in her own right don’t you ever think I will give up the good fight …
I am fighting to be heard and truth to be understood .
You will not trample over me my soul is too good .
So I’ll leave you these words and God willing you understand and if you don’t it wasn’t in gods plan .
I’ll continue to have faith and believe my heart is true and remember I should have never belonged to a man like you …
I should have never trusted the words you said
I should have looked at your eyes all wide looking at me like I was your prize .
What did you forget about all I said , about the man I never again wanted in my bed .
Sniffing what you call life so you can rise to the occasion and treat my body kindly
and give me un forgettable sensation not caring about anyone but yourself .
When were you going to tell me you needed help?
During the light your ways shinned oh so bright you didn’t care about managing your life or your health and you were always scared to be alone ,
until your attitude shifted after inhaled what you call exhale ..
But let me guess that green ain’t no drug it don’t matter now because You want to give me hug and ask me how my days was or tell me how you feel
not thinking about the things I hated
or how you weren’t being real .
You manipulated me to believe what you called your truth
not caring that you told me lies . Nothing you ever said added up or made any sense .
Now your mad cause I walked away but how much longer did you expect me to stay …
Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

I forgive you , I forgive me ….

Confused about life
confused about love
even confused about the man from up above
How can you value life when life never valued you .
learning to love was the hardest thing to do
coming from a place that wasn’t average along with being so passive
finding out all the things
never knowing my mother past or
why my father had to pass .
Hurting on all levels so I singe my skin
hoping someone will look a little harder deeper then all my sins .
Notice me please I just need to be seen
please mommy don’t forget about me ,
I’m just a little girl
trying to find her way
so you take me by my hand and now we are on our way
never did I expect to be replaced
one of the hardest things I had to face
.I became bitter sad but true
I hated you so much I didn’t know what do .
As time went on I realized we were so alike but different in hindsight .
Now that I have my kids and I clearly understand what it is you initially planned .
Unfortunately the drug took over your heart
and you and all your kids had to part .
I don’t blame for all you did you were deprived as a kid .
Deprived of love and peace in the heart
so many raped you from the very start .
So now I stand tall and understand your truth and all the things you wanted to do .
So my promise to you and my kids I will be victorious I promise I will win !!! Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©