It’s My Time To Shine ….

Spirit fades
when things
don’t change
Same face
You see in the mirror everyday
Until season change
Heart grows stronger
from the things he didn’t say
So being replaced
is the last thing on my mind
What am I chasing
A man
that doesn’t take the time
Or make a effort to
Make me want to stay
It hurts you remain the same
But the time
has come to say good bye
I can longer live your life
or feel your pain
I different woman
can’t you see
Focused on things
deeper than just me
You held me back
for so long
I was worried about your growth
forgetting about mine
The things I did
to allow you
to continue to shine
I’m tired of putting
you in first place
when I’m the prize
Finally you see …
The things you never let me be
Like a Honorable woman
With a vision deeper than fixing you
I’m prepared to face all my hurt and wounds
You must be frightened
I’m strong enough to push through
I told told you
I wasn’t the Devils food .
Everyday is different
and I’m learning
more about myself
So when I look in the mirror
I see a beautiful,
strong, forgiving,
loving woman that loves herself first for the first time
and refuses to cry!

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

A love like this ….

Back to the basic
but nothing simple
Reminded how life can take you for ride
You think you’re all good
Until your faced with all the lies
How do I start all over again
Pushing myself to a new level
Understanding my body is my temple
And I can’t give it away to anyone
Time to learn myself more than before
Like the things that make me feel free
Emotionally safe
Spiritually In Tuned
With the things I love to do
Loving my life today more than yesterday
Can’t allow anyone to take away from my reflection
I apologize if you feel the rejection
It’s nothing personal
my heart is bleeding for things I’ve been missing
I’m happy within
not scared to be alone
But never afraid to one day call a man my own
Secrets never told our
bond is so real
I’m not threatened by his movement his
Words never questioned because he shares his days and nights
I know some may get a glimpse of his eyes but I’m not scared cause I will make sure when we are together his eyes will be engulfed in mine
As I smile and speak of only the things that emotionally make him feel alive
Mentally stimulate him at the same time
Loving my mind and my actions that follow my words
A woman willing to give him the world
Counting me in
because I never
counted him out .
This love is we will share is real without a shadow of doubt
We will share our dreams and where we fall short
He will let me passionately get my point across
And I’ll allow him to respectfully tell me How He feels
even if it means
putting his foot down and letting me know the deal.
I’ll hear his words and not just listen to what he says
I will never allow another person stand in our way
I will never question the way he feels as long as he continues to love me the same
Keeping me sane when things don’t go my way
by comforting me but not pacifying my heart .
Understanding that sometimes distance can make relationship fall apart .
So whether he’s at work or spending his day being a man
I’ll understand as long
as he add me in some of his plans
and treat me like his lover and his best friend . This is the kind of love I believe will never end !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Fluid strength

Breaking through the waves of life
Finding peace deep inside
Living free
Seeing clear
Facing all internal obstacles
with ease
The pain I once felt
Is no longer part of me
So I breath
and take the next step
No longer limited in my head
The feelings I get
are all heaven-sent
The love I feel is real
Feeling free
loving me
Spirit bounded
no more
Feet stable
Heart once cold
is now warm
I never thought
I could get to a place
where I pray
and learn to have faith
in heavens face
I’m watching
all my troubles
be washed away
Crashing waves
is what I see
This feeling is great
The strength of the water
is now a part of my soul
Knocking all the walls down .
That held me back for so long
Confusion
Hate
Fear
Depression
Anger
Not understanding why
No one understood me
Silently Living in pain
The mirror no longer reveals my ways , insecurity that lied so deep within me
The reflection I see today is exactly how God made me before the world took my spirit away… Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

I’m hungry for love

You can cook for me
if your love don’t stop in the kitchen
I understand your hands takes the place of your mouth
But I love communication
so I’m willing to listen
Or your food will taste like something
I’m missing
Like friends that share thoughts and visions
Or loved one that’s share their hopes and dreams
Your food taste good
I taste the different flavors ,
Sometimes sweet
Sometimes tart
Sometimes hot
Sometimes cold
It’s confusing to unfold what my heart is not being told
I can’t understand the words you don’t say
So you can cook me as long as cooking is not the only way you show me love
Is there way you can show me what you’re trying saying
Like taking me for a bite
Or having picnic under a
tree
Or just saying I appreciate you
And I love you baby
this is for you
A meal sounds all great
But how Can I determine
what you never say
if all you do
is put your love on a plate …. Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Am I asking for too much ?!?

My Definition
Of a man
is a god fearing man
A man who honor his mother
A man who doesn’t do drugs
A man who feels
A man who hurts
but remembers his Strength
A man who reaches others
but is still willing to learn
A man who knows his past
but works towards a better future
A hard-working man who strives
To be better
and keeps his business discreet
a man who keep his relationship private
but not a secret
A man who is loyal
one woman under his sheets is all he needs
A man who doesn’t cater to the streets
A man who isn’t complete but is willing to fight to reach a level
Where he submits to his thoughts
But strong enough to fight his emotion
A man who doesn’t think a tear running down his cheek makes him weak
A man who does his best to provide even when things are rough
A man who never walks away
When things don’t go his way
A man who lets his lady help but never carry all the weight
A man who never gives up…
A man who knows how to treat
A woman
A man who brings chivalry back to life
A man who is capable of being a freak
A man who can make you think
after mental stimulation so deep
A man who loves his kids before she
And if his lady was to have kids he would love them as his
A man who goes out of his way
A man who never stands in the way
A man who pushes his lady to be better
And supports all of her endeavors
A man who
you can build together
A man who will respectfully make his lady reflect
If words the words she say
Make no sense
A man who will communicate
A man who allow his lady to know his fears , doubts and dreams
A man who will share his inner most feeling with she
A man who is devoted to making his relationship work
A man who doesn’t let jealousy consume his thoughts
A man who believes words , with actions of course
A man who treats his lady like He never wants to be replaced
A man who takes you for a bite to eat
A man who can sit under the stars and count each blessing
A man who can watch the water flow while silently sitting together
A man who can go to club with his lady and show the world how two people in love give it up
A man who’s not afraid show the world he cares
A man who will always be there
A man who never lies
A man who does is best to surpass the rest
A man who never puts his lady through unnecessary test
A man who can be hisself
A man who can crack a joke
A man who can be free and laugh about things he seen with she
A man who can be his lady’s everything !!!! Balance to me is key !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

The struggle …

Let me , introduce myself
my name is Rachel
As you can see
I don’t
Even reach 5 ‘3
I have goals and dreams
And I wish everyone could see
My soul
I love long walks in the park
Or to sit under a tree
I love deep conversations
And I’m not crazy about weed
and I hate drugs
I’ll enjoy a drink or two
so I’ll drink with you
But in the morning
we have things to do
I love to hear the laughter
of my family
And hate to see pain
I dislike selfish ways and anyone
Who
lives in vain
In my home God first
Then all the things we need
and want
we want to do
Need and want are two different
So don’t expect everything
But expect me to hold you
Down and do my best to own my crown . And show you how a queen treats her king .
Like like cleaning , cooking you dinner
And building you up
Encouraging you to never give up
Reassuring you , letting you know you’re the only one for me
Praying for you when you can’t see
Letting you be
when you need breathe
Loving your family like they were my own
Holding your hand if you ever felt alone
Reminding you there’s so much more to life
Like smiling , laughing and loving life
And when you get caught up with what’s next
I’ll ease the pain in your chest
By saying the words
I believe in you and no matter what babe will make it through
I’ll support your dreams as I continue to reach for mine
I’ll never let another man take your shine just follow through who you said you would be
And I will never allow another man to get close to me … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Keep smiling

I smile through the nonsense , and laugh through the pain
I’m only able to do that
cause I have faith
God is paving my way
teaching me how to love life
Learning how to dismiss the
Things that take away from
The person I am
Believing even the bad
is in gods plan
The devil does its best to change the way you think
So you must dig deep
and don’t allow your thoughts submit
To anything but peace
Feeling cheated , left alone , forgotten
Don’t let it trigger
your thoughts
Do your best to fight harder than before
Sometimes your phone
will be dry
and emotions will run high
Those are temporary emotions
Let that shit fly
Never allow your heart to get the better of your mind
Forcing someone to get who you are is not life
Hold your ground don’t feed into your emotions
The only thing that will do is make you lose focus
So maybe today didn’t go your way and tomorrow may not either
But trust me the rest of your days will depend on how you handle today .
There are consequences behind words that you say
or the words
you should never say .
So breathe and don’t let the devil get his way
He just wants to add heart ache and pain . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

I’ll eat your soil for a moment …

I’ll eat the shit
you feed me
And nourish my soul
but oh boy when I let go
it’s going to be hard
to regain my heart again
knowing you took me to the point of no return
I told you
I’ll eat your truth
chew it up
a spit a garden out
Please , did you think you were excluded too ?
Shame on you
Another” I told you ”
When will you get it
I don’t ask for much
Just a man that does his best
How is it my words
fall on deaf ears
Or is it you’re
not listening
So hearing me
is clearly
Not In your vision
Being you’re deaf
can you see
The truth
And The truth is a woman like me
Can ever be with a man like you
Your wrds aren’t you True
Your actions don’t add up
I guess this is the way
you enjoy building yourself up
By trying to break me down
It’s sad , that’s the way you think things have to go down
In order to feel your strength
praying a woman like me
Had no sense , a woman that was
once lost
but now is found
Did you think my truth
would give you ammunition
And your shots fired
would be felt
Clearly your the one that needs help !!!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Keep fighting !!!

alcohol , pills ,
heroine , cocaine
And sometimes Weed …
Is this the only way
to get along
Or hide your pain
Or your Shame
While you listen to everyone’s change
Listen to the truth
we are all individuals
It will be easy for some
And harder for others
It doesn’t mean you get discouraged
Step by step,
little by little
Don’t beat yourself up
No more abuse
You can fight it
if you try
And realize
Everyone experienced a different
Life
Don’t give up
You matter too much
People need you
The world needs a person
Who tells the truth
And doesn’t submit to the thoughts of death
So you can tell the world or you neighbor next door
How you changed
You never know you may
Save the day
Or someone’s life
By telling them to continue to fight
And you survived
The hurt the pain
the sorrow
The rain
The confusion
The hate
The envy
The Shame
The days that you just want to
Just Run away
And the nights you just want
To fade away
And when all is said and done
You never stop praying and you always believe in Heavens face .
That’s the truth that needs to be heard
So
Who cares if the world doesn’t
Get who are
And the 12 steps didn’t get you far !!!
So what if your family or friends don’t forgive you as long as you forgive yourself .
I respect anyone that’s fighting
For help … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Today belongs to you !!!

Yes ,I know it’s Mothers Day
but I’m going to put a twist
on today .
I believe kids should be recognized
on this day
So as a mother today
I want to thank my kids
for at times dealing with my inconsistent ways
at times I fed you the
germs that lingered
from my childhood
The fear of loss , the fear failure ,
fear being of being left alone
Scared to watch you grow
I want to thank my kids
for always fighting even
when I didn’t share my truth
I want thank my kids for celebrating me on a day that really belongs to you
I’m just doing
what real mothers do
Taking care of your heart
and protecting soul
Never letting go
And putting you before me
As all mothers should do .
So today I want thank my kids
for dealing with all my shit
and Challenging me to
always to become
a better me
I want to thank my kids
For never giving in
And continuing to fight
When things didn’t go
as planned
This day belongs to you
after all the things I subconsciously put you through … Thank you for all you do and never forget , I love you …Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah