I see you Queen

I see you Queen
you have dreams
Even after
you seen
what should be
the unseen
I’m sorry society
let you down
And the women
you should be able
to look up to
don’t own their crowns
And some men that
are fathers walk around
Looking like clowns
Smoking L’s on the block
So You can’t help
but stare
People fiending
looking at you
Asking you for
what you can spare
Young Kings
not caring
about anything
but what they hear or see
Like Cars ,guns , drugs , Money , hoes
and anything that blings
Liquor store on the corner
A vicious cycle
of
Children failed
But I see you Queen
you’re prepared
Knowledge and wisdom
at this age
Only teaches you
how to do things a better way
This letter I wrote is for you
I’m passing on these jewels
because I’ve seen
what should have been the unseen too
Dear Queen ,
I see life in your eyes ,
You’re capable of being a leader
Don’t let the life
you live cheat you
Remember your worth
And life is a game
Chess , I call it
My pawn
Are the lames
You’re a winner ,
checkmate
Game over
No longer
Moving with frauds
You know the ones that act
Like they have it all together
No job , no educations
but every Jordan to
whether the weather
No goals set
But Queen
don’t fail to remember
You have choice
The lessons that
Will be taught
and the
consequences to
you may have to face
Think about it
It shouldn’t be hard
it’s life or death
staring you in your face ….

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Fatherless Boy to a MAN

So many things
I never wanted you to face
Like the insecurity
that lied within me
Or the fear of failure
Not being able to see
It hurts to feel your pain
I pray to god he leads the way
I know you can be so many things
But I must remember
You’re just a fatherless child
trying to
Find your way
Nd learning how to become a man
in a cold world
People not caring about
You
You feel like
your left out the loop
Trying to do things
the right way
Slipped up a few times
but that’s just learning life the hard way
Stressed out
Looking at the rest
of the world
Like they have it all together
But there are levels to this
seasons change my son
always remember
Your time has come
and things will get better
Seeing clearer
Wanting more
Being a boss
is what’s on your mind
So you follow
then lead
wake up
and grind
With big plans
on your mind
I can see it now
All your dreams
coming true
The Words you speak
Are your truth
With Actions
to show and prove
Moving like
you have something to lose
Learning to communicate
without placing blAme
Priorities in order
You’re all about change
Thinking about
what’s next
Staying focused
Tired of being
second best
In your head
So level #1
is the Level You chose
Forgetting about everyone
that has forgotten about you ….

By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Bring HIP HOP Back

God where are you
Confusion traveling
down my face
I’m just a child
I’m silently
crying out
Why me , why me
Watching my mother cry
Because my father
Believes there’s no other way
We are Surrounded by poverty
nowhere to turn
So I run the streets with hopes
of the most high
giving me a turn
Special handshakes
Remind me of what
I Never Want to be
My SPIRIT is crying out
please save me
Waking down the street
Watching everybody fight To eat
I’m starting to feel
like the devils meat
Until I hear a sound that makes
my heart skip a beat
Music is my soul provider
And dancing becomes my sanity
Music brings
the community together
it’s called unity
Looking for peace
Something the politicians
Hate to see
They rather see
Parents hearts that bleed
Faith lost
Family and friends
lost by the sword
My freedom of expression
becomes my voice
Hip Hop is my prayer
I am Praying for peace
spiritually
But God doesn’t seem to hear me
So I take it to a new level
Fall to my knees
And pray that God intervenes
Dear God ,
I’ve lost faith the devil
is showing me so much pain ,
I don’t know where to go
Teach me your ways
Dancing and music
Take the pain away
But lord I believe there’s another way
I don’t only want you to save me
I want you to restore faith

By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Fluid strength

Breaking through the waves of life
Finding peace deep inside
Living free
Seeing clear
Facing all internal obstacles
with ease
The pain I once felt
Is no longer part of me
So I breath
and take the next step
No longer limited in my head
The feelings I get
are all heaven-sent
The love I feel is real
Feeling free
loving me
Spirit bounded
no more
Feet stable
Heart once cold
is now warm
I never thought
I could get to a place
where I pray
and learn to have faith
in heavens face
I’m watching
all my troubles
be washed away
Crashing waves
is what I see
This feeling is great
The strength of the water
is now a part of my soul
Knocking all the walls down .
That held me back for so long
Confusion
Hate
Fear
Depression
Anger
Not understanding why
No one understood me
Silently Living in pain
The mirror no longer reveals my ways , insecurity that lied so deep within me
The reflection I see today is exactly how God made me before the world took my spirit away… Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

you have nothing to lose !!!

Queen
It’s hurts to watch your spirit fade
Don’t let a man change your ways
Stay beautiful , the same
one day a king will come and change your name
A man that calls hisself the N word can never understand your pain
Because he’s to busy living ignorantly living in vain
Queen remember this
You deserve to reign
To be respected
, understood
You don’t deserve to feel like you always do
Crying to get your point across
Praying he finds a clue
Not valuing his family
Acting like he has nothing to lose
Like a woman who will always be true
Or holds him down when the world is cruel
See queen you’re the one that hasn’t nothing lose
He hasn’t shown more than his words not being true
Taking away from the way you see your face
Or how you feel when another woman temporality takes your place
That type of man is a natural disgrace
And trust me is easily replaced !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Music on blast

Music on blast
so I don’t have to remember
my past
or why my all my relationships didn’t last .
Was I caught up with all that I did
or was it I was never appreciated . Or maybe I never choose a man that held his ground
or hung around
to watch me raise
my kids so molded them
the way I saw fit .
With class morals and respect .
I think back when I was younger and no matter
where life took my mother
their was other .
Her style , finess and oh boy the way she dressed ,
she turned heads
while she thought she was impressing the best
the best ended her on the streets ..:and the streets
loved her more then she loved she .
So she hugged block ,
thinking she was being nursed back to health ,
but really she was loosing more of herself ,
She was a beast
who love to feast
off of people
who mistreated her in the streets
or loving the ones that couldn’t hurt her
that was part of her guard being up loving man
that couldn’t help .
Never being alone was her way of feeling alive
even if she had to sacrifice the love for her kids
and all that she is
so she held her head high
while she sucked that glass stick
and acted like all these changes passed me by
but I witnessed all the lies ,
I know there’s so much more to you
so stop lying about your demons hiding I feel them peeking showing their eyes and and changing your heart this wasn’t you from the very start .

Life beat me
and suffocated me with pain and disappointments
so I had no choice but to go with the flow and excepted misfortune
and taught myself how to live and promised myself I would never sacrifice my kids for the love a man or a drugs I can’t stand
Even though I didn’t know God had different Plans
I swear I wanted to do things different

I wanted to to take the world by its horns and show my wings and do my best to show my kids the opposite of what i was taught

But I allowed myself to feel the agony ,
pain and disappointment.. fist of fury felt familar and so did the weed burning in the room .
The lack of love reminding me of home as I cried alone .
And my kids watched from afar and became my confidant .
It was harder for them then I thought no man ever followed through with what they were taught …
the world tried to teach me and my kids defeat
but my fight
always landed me on my feet .
I thank god
I am where I need to be , because my kids have hope
I believe their learning to pray and no matter what we go through we will be ok
all glory goes to God
I can’t water it down .
There ‘s no other reason Im still around … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

If you’re curious !

God in me is what you see
I don’t have a fancy whip
And all the things you may think
But my heart is strong and I
Always put up a fight
to excel In Life
Pushing my self harder each time
So when I smile
and laugh about life
I’m dealing with things
that are still not right
But the God in me
is what you see
Assuming I have
all material things
Don’t get me wrong
I love nice things
But those are not
the things that define me
So the god in me
allows you see
I don’t need
material things
To make me
say I’m happy
The God in me
is happy to be
living spiritually free ,
not bounded by the things
that take away from me .
The God in me
Loves my neighbor
like God loves me .
The God in me
see good in all
Never praying on
anyone’s downfall
Even if you did me wrong
The God in me
wants the world to be free
of all things
that use to take away from me
Like depression ,
anger ,
frustration ,
bitterness ,
envy ,
pride ,
ego ,
pain
not letting anyone close to me
or able to see the real me
Scared to say
I use to hurt and feel pain
the God in me
wants everyone to see
walking in faith
isn’t as crazy it seems
The God in me
is what makes me glow
it’s not man
or a situation
that stole the show
It’s the God in
It can only be
For It was he
Who I screamed
lord what do you want from me
He says tell the truth
and you will
See
Well here it is
It was he who
was there ,
when no one else was
It was his voice
I heard say
don’t you give up
It was he who said your
finally free
And it was me
who chose to give all glory to he
So if your curious
about what it is about me .
It’s the God in me … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

The struggle …

Let me , introduce myself
my name is Rachel
As you can see
I don’t
Even reach 5 ‘3
I have goals and dreams
And I wish everyone could see
My soul
I love long walks in the park
Or to sit under a tree
I love deep conversations
And I’m not crazy about weed
and I hate drugs
I’ll enjoy a drink or two
so I’ll drink with you
But in the morning
we have things to do
I love to hear the laughter
of my family
And hate to see pain
I dislike selfish ways and anyone
Who
lives in vain
In my home God first
Then all the things we need
and want
we want to do
Need and want are two different
So don’t expect everything
But expect me to hold you
Down and do my best to own my crown . And show you how a queen treats her king .
Like like cleaning , cooking you dinner
And building you up
Encouraging you to never give up
Reassuring you , letting you know you’re the only one for me
Praying for you when you can’t see
Letting you be
when you need breathe
Loving your family like they were my own
Holding your hand if you ever felt alone
Reminding you there’s so much more to life
Like smiling , laughing and loving life
And when you get caught up with what’s next
I’ll ease the pain in your chest
By saying the words
I believe in you and no matter what babe will make it through
I’ll support your dreams as I continue to reach for mine
I’ll never let another man take your shine just follow through who you said you would be
And I will never allow another man to get close to me … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

I prayed that day …

This hurt confusion and pain please take it away the devil is trying to place condemnation in my face .
I need to step away from anyones that pain can’t fade away .
Life is only in my way
if I don’t want to change .
It hurts to stay the same
God please release the pain .
I thought I choose the best
I guess this was gods test
to see if my heart stop fighting for my kids while I had pain in my chest ,
I need to run away .
I can no longer own this the pain
it hurts too much ,
can you feel it in my touch .
I don’t want no more of this
I prayed to God that day
, and asked for angels to guide me to the right place ,
I feel free today
the pain fade away
and my hearts beats the same
. I need love today
someone
who takes the place of a man that’s heart is so far away .
I cooked dinner today
do you want a plate
, I hate that you don’t even listen to a word I say .
Can we get along after all this time
I’m not doing fine
I need your time
But your heart is far away
And you’re fading away
You’re not everything that you said you would be
Depression takes over me
It was only a matter of time
This isn’t me .
My life matters can’t you see . Stopping looking at me , is that all you see body and flesh . Lord I will do anything take this pain from me , the Devils knocking at my door ,
I can’t do this anymore !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Keep smiling

I smile through the nonsense , and laugh through the pain
I’m only able to do that
cause I have faith
God is paving my way
teaching me how to love life
Learning how to dismiss the
Things that take away from
The person I am
Believing even the bad
is in gods plan
The devil does its best to change the way you think
So you must dig deep
and don’t allow your thoughts submit
To anything but peace
Feeling cheated , left alone , forgotten
Don’t let it trigger
your thoughts
Do your best to fight harder than before
Sometimes your phone
will be dry
and emotions will run high
Those are temporary emotions
Let that shit fly
Never allow your heart to get the better of your mind
Forcing someone to get who you are is not life
Hold your ground don’t feed into your emotions
The only thing that will do is make you lose focus
So maybe today didn’t go your way and tomorrow may not either
But trust me the rest of your days will depend on how you handle today .
There are consequences behind words that you say
or the words
you should never say .
So breathe and don’t let the devil get his way
He just wants to add heart ache and pain . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah