It’s My Time To Shine ….

Spirit fades
when things
don’t change
Same face
You see in the mirror everyday
Until season change
Heart grows stronger
from the things he didn’t say
So being replaced
is the last thing on my mind
What am I chasing
A man
that doesn’t take the time
Or make a effort to
Make me want to stay
It hurts you remain the same
But the time
has come to say good bye
I can longer live your life
or feel your pain
I different woman
can’t you see
Focused on things
deeper than just me
You held me back
for so long
I was worried about your growth
forgetting about mine
The things I did
to allow you
to continue to shine
I’m tired of putting
you in first place
when I’m the prize
Finally you see …
The things you never let me be
Like a Honorable woman
With a vision deeper than fixing you
I’m prepared to face all my hurt and wounds
You must be frightened
I’m strong enough to push through
I told told you
I wasn’t the Devils food .
Everyday is different
and I’m learning
more about myself
So when I look in the mirror
I see a beautiful,
strong, forgiving,
loving woman that loves herself first for the first time
and refuses to cry!

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Fluid strength

Breaking through the waves of life
Finding peace deep inside
Living free
Seeing clear
Facing all internal obstacles
with ease
The pain I once felt
Is no longer part of me
So I breath
and take the next step
No longer limited in my head
The feelings I get
are all heaven-sent
The love I feel is real
Feeling free
loving me
Spirit bounded
no more
Feet stable
Heart once cold
is now warm
I never thought
I could get to a place
where I pray
and learn to have faith
in heavens face
I’m watching
all my troubles
be washed away
Crashing waves
is what I see
This feeling is great
The strength of the water
is now a part of my soul
Knocking all the walls down .
That held me back for so long
Confusion
Hate
Fear
Depression
Anger
Not understanding why
No one understood me
Silently Living in pain
The mirror no longer reveals my ways , insecurity that lied so deep within me
The reflection I see today is exactly how God made me before the world took my spirit away… Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

you have nothing to lose !!!

Queen
It’s hurts to watch your spirit fade
Don’t let a man change your ways
Stay beautiful , the same
one day a king will come and change your name
A man that calls hisself the N word can never understand your pain
Because he’s to busy living ignorantly living in vain
Queen remember this
You deserve to reign
To be respected
, understood
You don’t deserve to feel like you always do
Crying to get your point across
Praying he finds a clue
Not valuing his family
Acting like he has nothing to lose
Like a woman who will always be true
Or holds him down when the world is cruel
See queen you’re the one that hasn’t nothing lose
He hasn’t shown more than his words not being true
Taking away from the way you see your face
Or how you feel when another woman temporality takes your place
That type of man is a natural disgrace
And trust me is easily replaced !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Music on blast

Music on blast
so I don’t have to remember
my past
or why my all my relationships didn’t last .
Was I caught up with all that I did
or was it I was never appreciated . Or maybe I never choose a man that held his ground
or hung around
to watch me raise
my kids so molded them
the way I saw fit .
With class morals and respect .
I think back when I was younger and no matter
where life took my mother
their was other .
Her style , finess and oh boy the way she dressed ,
she turned heads
while she thought she was impressing the best
the best ended her on the streets ..:and the streets
loved her more then she loved she .
So she hugged block ,
thinking she was being nursed back to health ,
but really she was loosing more of herself ,
She was a beast
who love to feast
off of people
who mistreated her in the streets
or loving the ones that couldn’t hurt her
that was part of her guard being up loving man
that couldn’t help .
Never being alone was her way of feeling alive
even if she had to sacrifice the love for her kids
and all that she is
so she held her head high
while she sucked that glass stick
and acted like all these changes passed me by
but I witnessed all the lies ,
I know there’s so much more to you
so stop lying about your demons hiding I feel them peeking showing their eyes and and changing your heart this wasn’t you from the very start .

Life beat me
and suffocated me with pain and disappointments
so I had no choice but to go with the flow and excepted misfortune
and taught myself how to live and promised myself I would never sacrifice my kids for the love a man or a drugs I can’t stand
Even though I didn’t know God had different Plans
I swear I wanted to do things different

I wanted to to take the world by its horns and show my wings and do my best to show my kids the opposite of what i was taught

But I allowed myself to feel the agony ,
pain and disappointment.. fist of fury felt familar and so did the weed burning in the room .
The lack of love reminding me of home as I cried alone .
And my kids watched from afar and became my confidant .
It was harder for them then I thought no man ever followed through with what they were taught …
the world tried to teach me and my kids defeat
but my fight
always landed me on my feet .
I thank god
I am where I need to be , because my kids have hope
I believe their learning to pray and no matter what we go through we will be ok
all glory goes to God
I can’t water it down .
There ‘s no other reason Im still around … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

The struggle …

Let me , introduce myself
my name is Rachel
As you can see
I don’t
Even reach 5 ‘3
I have goals and dreams
And I wish everyone could see
My soul
I love long walks in the park
Or to sit under a tree
I love deep conversations
And I’m not crazy about weed
and I hate drugs
I’ll enjoy a drink or two
so I’ll drink with you
But in the morning
we have things to do
I love to hear the laughter
of my family
And hate to see pain
I dislike selfish ways and anyone
Who
lives in vain
In my home God first
Then all the things we need
and want
we want to do
Need and want are two different
So don’t expect everything
But expect me to hold you
Down and do my best to own my crown . And show you how a queen treats her king .
Like like cleaning , cooking you dinner
And building you up
Encouraging you to never give up
Reassuring you , letting you know you’re the only one for me
Praying for you when you can’t see
Letting you be
when you need breathe
Loving your family like they were my own
Holding your hand if you ever felt alone
Reminding you there’s so much more to life
Like smiling , laughing and loving life
And when you get caught up with what’s next
I’ll ease the pain in your chest
By saying the words
I believe in you and no matter what babe will make it through
I’ll support your dreams as I continue to reach for mine
I’ll never let another man take your shine just follow through who you said you would be
And I will never allow another man to get close to me … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

I prayed that day …

This hurt confusion and pain please take it away the devil is trying to place condemnation in my face .
I need to step away from anyones that pain can’t fade away .
Life is only in my way
if I don’t want to change .
It hurts to stay the same
God please release the pain .
I thought I choose the best
I guess this was gods test
to see if my heart stop fighting for my kids while I had pain in my chest ,
I need to run away .
I can no longer own this the pain
it hurts too much ,
can you feel it in my touch .
I don’t want no more of this
I prayed to God that day
, and asked for angels to guide me to the right place ,
I feel free today
the pain fade away
and my hearts beats the same
. I need love today
someone
who takes the place of a man that’s heart is so far away .
I cooked dinner today
do you want a plate
, I hate that you don’t even listen to a word I say .
Can we get along after all this time
I’m not doing fine
I need your time
But your heart is far away
And you’re fading away
You’re not everything that you said you would be
Depression takes over me
It was only a matter of time
This isn’t me .
My life matters can’t you see . Stopping looking at me , is that all you see body and flesh . Lord I will do anything take this pain from me , the Devils knocking at my door ,
I can’t do this anymore !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Keep smiling

I smile through the nonsense , and laugh through the pain
I’m only able to do that
cause I have faith
God is paving my way
teaching me how to love life
Learning how to dismiss the
Things that take away from
The person I am
Believing even the bad
is in gods plan
The devil does its best to change the way you think
So you must dig deep
and don’t allow your thoughts submit
To anything but peace
Feeling cheated , left alone , forgotten
Don’t let it trigger
your thoughts
Do your best to fight harder than before
Sometimes your phone
will be dry
and emotions will run high
Those are temporary emotions
Let that shit fly
Never allow your heart to get the better of your mind
Forcing someone to get who you are is not life
Hold your ground don’t feed into your emotions
The only thing that will do is make you lose focus
So maybe today didn’t go your way and tomorrow may not either
But trust me the rest of your days will depend on how you handle today .
There are consequences behind words that you say
or the words
you should never say .
So breathe and don’t let the devil get his way
He just wants to add heart ache and pain . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Pain washed away

I’m backed to being focused
I was wrapped up in my emotions
I’m back and ready to reach for the stars
While I’m enjoying the blessings before me
Blue waters
Life no longer passing me
by
Loving life
Even the days
And nights I lay alone
It shows me more
What I want
The simple things
but nothing basic
Passion brings my heart
to life
Watching family
as time made all grow
Watching my loved
ones become
their own
Living with purpose
as the wind blows fast
the sun disappears
Waves crash
Sky becomes dark
But I’m no longer afraid
So I dance in the rain …
My pain is gone I’ve been longing for this day
It hurts so much less thinking about the ones the never stayed
This is who I am
Living life free
Finally learning to love me all of me
Never reminded again of the things that use to be me … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Do unto others …

God planned this from my moms womb
All the scars ,
tattoos
he left me with
so much to do
Being hurt lied too
And manipulated too
feeling like a fool
I didn’t even know God was giving me all the necessary tools
So I can excel in life
Know how to fight
Sometimes not being able to sleep at night
Was God telling me his
Truth
Like ..wake up
or I’m going to take
your life from you
Stop trying to show world
You have it all together
I’m going to humble and force
you to get your life together
Can’t you see the picture
I trusted you from birth
All that hurt
I’m going to turn it into victory
And make it look like light work
I know the truth
I know your heart
I know the fight
you put up from the very start
I know you cried
I wiped your tears
When you wanted give up
I know life messed you up
I sorry that choose you
neglected
Battered ,
abused
But I seen potential in you
You have a purpose
and I’m going to use you
to do good
That body I’m building is not of the world
it’s of a spirit that understands
my truth
Do unto others as you have the then do unto you . Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

I’ll eat your soil for a moment …

I’ll eat the shit
you feed me
And nourish my soul
but oh boy when I let go
it’s going to be hard
to regain my heart again
knowing you took me to the point of no return
I told you
I’ll eat your truth
chew it up
a spit a garden out
Please , did you think you were excluded too ?
Shame on you
Another” I told you ”
When will you get it
I don’t ask for much
Just a man that does his best
How is it my words
fall on deaf ears
Or is it you’re
not listening
So hearing me
is clearly
Not In your vision
Being you’re deaf
can you see
The truth
And The truth is a woman like me
Can ever be with a man like you
Your wrds aren’t you True
Your actions don’t add up
I guess this is the way
you enjoy building yourself up
By trying to break me down
It’s sad , that’s the way you think things have to go down
In order to feel your strength
praying a woman like me
Had no sense , a woman that was
once lost
but now is found
Did you think my truth
would give you ammunition
And your shots fired
would be felt
Clearly your the one that needs help !!!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah