I have to fight for me …

All alone I feel is their anyone that would ever keep it real and care about me and all things I think about and how I see . Will anyone ever be there to take care of me and my kids treat them the way I do . Will anyone ever take the time to know my heart from the very start and I see all that I do… my point is misunderstood
Maybe I would stop crying
If you heard what I had to say
I can’t do this any more
I just want to run away
My heart is broken
I’m so tired of fighting
When will you fight for me
I can’t do this anymore
I have to leave
My life matters . obviously more than you think of me .
I can’t stick around waiting for you understand me
I have to leave and do what’s best for me
I’m learning to love all of me
I’m learning to see a lot more clearly
I need more than what you give to me
If you’re not willing to fight
I guess I’ll have to fight for me .
I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore
How long did you expect this from me .
My love is real
I can no longer give you all of me …
I deserve to lie in the arms of a man
That deserves me
I’m so much more than what the world sees in me .
I’m sorry I have to go , I have to do this for me…. Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
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Continue to fight !!!

If your curious about the woman who stands before you im a Woman of truth a woman who knows her worth a woman who doesn’t hold her tongue a woman who’s not effected by much a woman who hates drugs a woman who will sip on her drink but don’t get it twisted this wasn’t always me … I use to be able to drink like a dude and sat bitter angry and confused about life and how I was treated I allowed myself to feel defeated . I did my best to change my ways and as time went on I learned to have faith I surrendered my heart to the unknown and decided to go with the flow of doing things right putting up a fight for what I believed , not caring what anyone thinks . Some disappeared some stayed but the truth is I’m ok . Once I realized life was unfair and no matter your struggles or signs of despair sometimes nobody will be there . That doesn’t excuse all they do it just means they are not for you so hold your head high as you continue you to fight and never give up , it’s going to be alright . let no one determine the smile in your life . Once you realize the biggest battle is fighting yourself and at end the day having faith in God is the only thing that can help …. Original By Warrior Princess

It is , what it is ….

Take me to a place where Angels meet and the satan fights back for the love that is giving so freely … misunderstanding my waterfalls so you go harder until your drowning in my unconditional love ….
please don’t misunderstand me I want more than this
can’t you see all the love that I’m putting into this ,
Your confidence must be at an all time high like you can’t be replaced is that reason you don’t try .
You think that there’s no one like you have I placed you on a pedestal that high
so now you feel like your feet are planted on solid ground .
I took the steps to show my love and cried and even told you I didn’t want to give up .
But still you remain the same and don’t change your ways ,
didn’t I express those are things that will make me change and forget about you
but still play by the rules because giving my body away to anyone just won’t do .
So continue to do you and I’ll continue to do me and let’s hope I end up where you want me to be .
I can’t make any promises because I deserve so much more like a man who takes the time and doesn’t forget about me or takes me out and shows me love or reassure me he never wants to give up .
It’s funny the things you do use to hurt
but now I’m stronger than before and I will continue to soar without your support , so don’t turn around and say I changed , Just look at me like , Damn she gave me my space … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Sniff this ….

Sitting in the dark but seeing the light , understanding life , nothing ever comes as a surprise .
Forgetting all the pain and all my struggles in the past
today is a new day so your words will not last .
Coming from a warrior and princess in her own right don’t you ever think I will give up the good fight …
I am fighting to be heard and truth to be understood .
You will not trample over me my soul is too good .
So I’ll leave you these words and God willing you understand and if you don’t it wasn’t in gods plan .
I’ll continue to have faith and believe my heart is true and remember I should have never belonged to a man like you …
I should have never trusted the words you said
I should have looked at your eyes all wide looking at me like I was your prize .
What did you forget about all I said , about the man I never again wanted in my bed .
Sniffing what you call life so you can rise to the occasion and treat my body kindly
and give me un forgettable sensation not caring about anyone but yourself .
When were you going to tell me you needed help?
During the light your ways shinned oh so bright you didn’t care about managing your life or your health and you were always scared to be alone ,
until your attitude shifted after inhaled what you call exhale ..
But let me guess that green ain’t no drug it don’t matter now because You want to give me hug and ask me how my days was or tell me how you feel
not thinking about the things I hated
or how you weren’t being real .
You manipulated me to believe what you called your truth
not caring that you told me lies . Nothing you ever said added up or made any sense .
Now your mad cause I walked away but how much longer did you expect me to stay …
Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Love …

I can’t recite a scripture but I know who intervened . Faith in God is what saved me . . No matter if you lied or did me wrong I pray on no ones downfall . I want the world to win because we all have sinned doesn’t make it right , but I understand the fight . It’s ok to fall but try again or you’re going to relive a pain that will never end . Learn about yourself, don’t worry about others , keep close to your family like there’s no other , stay the course and don’t get discouraged because the world is living a different life then what you encourage …. Stay true to yourself don’t sacrifice your soul . If someone doesn’t get who you are let them go. Cry for a minute let your feelings flow realize the one who loves you would never hurt or abuse you or selfishly think , or sit back and watch you sink , they will do their best to keep you afloat and tell you things you need to know . They will never walk away and not think about you they will never sit back and question your truth . They would never get joy trying to figure you out they will never not hear you out . So regardless to how you feel know the difference in what is real . Love shouldn’t hurt , love should be fair both have to fight for you want . It can’t be one making the efforts or taking the time to make sure everything is alright . Love will make you shine , love will build you up , love will hold you down when no one else is around . Love will never try to take your spirit away love will only remind you of heavens face . Love will let you be as long as your true , love will make you realize the truth . Love will never forget who you are love will never take things to far . Love will reassure you , love would never ignore you . love will never hold you back ,love would make sure you stay on track, Love will take its time , love is something beautiful and divine , love is something that’s not easy to find . Original By Warrior Princess

But you love me ????

All by myself with thoughts of what love feels like
,can it be this empty feeling
I can describe of not being understood or respected
can it be feelings of being disregarded and rejected
can it be the feeling of despair and everything that isn’t fair
can it be another one that just doesn’t care .
I heard those words I love you so many times and most the times they were all lies .
It should be more like I love everything you do
and all the things you tolerate to
I love how you expect nothing and still give your all
I love even when I’m not around your waiting on my call .
I love how I make no efforts but you make it work .
I love how your body craves mine even though we don’t spend any time
I love all the things you do to make sure I’m all right .
I love that you forget about yourself and don’t ask me for help
I love that smile you show and the pain you hide .
I love how no matter what I do your still on my side .
I love that you think of me even though I forget about you
I love that through all this you still stay true .
I love that you fell in love with the thought of me and how I say I treat others
I love that you wait patiently like there’s no other .
I love that you give me more credit then I deserve
I love that you believe this is Gods work
I love that your caught up with Who you thought I could be .
I love that you forget I can only be me … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

I deserve more !!!

I’m dying to understand a man like you
but it feels like what you giving back is disloyal un untruthful .
How can you expect change if all do is play games ..
I open my heart to you and this is the kind shit that you do .
You sneak away and hide your truth and then put a twist on it like I have issues .
Keep it real is all I ask don’t make an ass out of me cause this will not last .
I’m doing my best is that not enough or do you expect more of me
if that’s the case this is not where I wanna be .
I’m a good woman and Won’t settle for less , let me guess this is a test ..
Another lame ass excuse but no good reason ,
I wanted this to be different I wanted you to understand that a real man don’t abuse a woman , lie , cheat and manipulate or put me through through the things you do .
So if this is who you are I can do without , but just expect never see another woman like me , I’m out … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Single Mothers Cry !!!

You can’t catch me I’m on gods speed all the things you think you’re going to do to me .
I’m going to catch you off guard
and put a monkey wrench in your heart .
And then your going to feel agony of a single mother and her heart .
Feeling alone doing all I can all I can do to be nothing like you .
So I over compensate and love so hard with hopes to fill the void in my children’s heart.
You come around on your terms and try to instill your germs and your habits
and pretend you understand and act like I want to teach you how to be a man
” or trust in me daughter let me teach you how a man should treat you .
Mean while I see through you ,
what you do hurts my heart
I wish I could take the knife out my back
and pierce through your heart
then slowly tear you apart and leave you only to your thoughts and your remains and pray that God can take away your pain … By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

I love me ….

Stop stressing me while testing me ,I’m not a mess
or clearly what you think of me ,
life is funny and I can see all the people who try to taint my spirit without getting to know me ,
I did that before won’t do it again
if you think I’m going to lose anymore of myself think again .
Do you see the woman before you a woman who’s true and that holds no weight a woman who has faith
a woman who’s affected selectively and woman that cares less about a rate
or how you see her and what you think about who she is .
So simple I’ll remain and not allow my pain to define my ways
and ill continue to love myself more than before . And believe God has something better in store … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

What more can I say ….

Time for you to see the real me not all you wanted me to be .
I’m a woman who stands her ground while she wears her crown ,
step up or step down .
I hope you don’t think I’m going to always be around
waiting on you to change your moods or think about all that I do .
Thinking it’s all about you , what about me don’t you think I deserve love to .
Forget about you for a minute stop and listen to the rhythm in my heart what it beats for is clearly different . How can you say you’re in love when you clearly don’t understand my unique ways .
Am I to passive with things I say or would you rather me in your face screaming to get my point across
or would do you want me to belittle and degrade you by yelling and screaming you need to change ,
I’m not going to take it to that level nor dance with the devil . Maybe I’m to healthy for you
maybe you’re not ready for the truth maybe you need to feel alive so you need to feel pain in order to remember you’re still breathing …
I wanted to be your breath of fresh air but I’m clearly feeling like I’m here for a reason or maybe a season prayed for a lifetime but not the way you have me feeling .
So step up or step down what do you want to do step up or step down it’s all on you …
You have me feeling like a fool living without a clue
when it comes to you remembering all the things you said
adding the shit up in my head . So now I realize your words are true
but your heart was broken before so you don’t really know how to go about my truth .
So you take a different route as I continue to do without not knowing if your going to figure this out .
So you keep your guard and hold your ground and hope that no one ever sticks around ..
but what about love what about life what about time that’s passing u by . I can’t tell you any lies this is something I can’t disguise … may be I’m wrong for what I say
and if I am I won’t stand in your way
I just want you to understand what I feel cause my feelings are nothing less than real . So take the time and read this slow and maybe you’ll find out something you didn’t know … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©