I hear about , suicide , I hear about rape I hear about death all over the place … I’m tired of watching the world dying inside
It’s time for me to share my life
Shame no more I feel inside
Hate I no more try to hide
Only because Gods in my life
And made everything right
When will the world understand the truth
Believe in god I’m living proof
My heart use to hurt
And my soul use to cry
Because once upon time I too was
So I masked my pain
With a drink here a drink there and sometimes I drank
Until my thoughts and hurt I shared
Sometimes I punched
Sometimes I cried
Sometimes I didn’t care about life
But guess what I’m still here
If that’s not a testimony in its self
Anyone that knows me could tell you their self
Or maybe a little more truth from me
So you can have a little more faith in he …
Salvation is what set me free .
Trust in GOD and you will see !!!!
Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
Lord god take this pain away
lord god let the people see your face
lord god let them understand their truth
lord god let people believe they must have faith in you .
Lord god theirs so much to say
lord god please lead the way
lord god I wish I could set everyone free
lord god please continue to speak through me .
Lord god I hear children’s cries
lord god please let no stone be unturned lord god please show me what you want from me .
Lord god I’ll follow your lead
lord god I’ll walk the talk and speak my truth lord god
I’ll show people by example that they can do it to .
Lord god please take the pain away
lord god the devil is trying to make a place in the eyes of the world and the hearts of our soul .
Lord god please let everyone let go of the pain that hurts their heart lord god or the things they took to far
Lord god let them remember all you do lord god let me show them your love is true .
Lord god please restore your faith lord god I want people to Believe in your grace. Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
This is for all my single fathers who raise their babies to be kings and queens .
Never walking away even though mom didn’t stay .
This for all my single fathers who do their best even though they feel the pain in their children’s chest .
This is for the single fathers who teach their boys to be men and teach their daughters how a man should love a woman .
This is for my single fathers who get no help financially , physically , emotionally from their children’s mother because she needs help .
This is for my single fathers who don’t place blame and just keep it moving like it was any other day .
This is for all my single fathers who care more about their kids so their time is limited .
This is for all my single fathers ,
I see all that you do . So lift your head high and continue to reach for the stars cause the sky isn’t the limit after all that you do !!! Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
🙏🏾💪🏽My back hurts
My feet are sore
My legs are burning from moving so fast
I just want this time to pass
So I can put food in my house or maybe take my kids on a vacation
Unfortunately that’s not how the world is built
when you have no help
While you don’t care about a child that has your smile or walks like you
Do you even know all we go through
Or how hard it is
The struggle is real
and you’re not here
Birthdays passed , Holidays gone , Graduation day imagine such a special day and your face is so far away
When will you think about how you’re affecting your kids
Or is it to difficult to face the truth
So you continue to do what you do
So you Take another hit make another sale
Who cares about the mother of your child
Or your kids
Do you think that’s fair ?
You left me alone to do this by myself
I even had to ask people for help
And even though some didn’t come through
I’m not mad they have their own life to tend to
It’s your responsibility
you’re their father
Biologically that is
Definitely not their Daddy
Do you even have a clue
I taught them the best I knew
I cried , screamed and fought
I never threw your name in the dirt
I did my best to understand your hurt
But you took advantage of my heart
You exposed our children to your life
you loved your money over your seeds .
While you pushed them aside
In and out of their life for so many years not thinking about their tears
Eye contact with my daughter no
Words that were heard
Rolled up with my son and laughed hysterically about the past
Invited my son your journey
Did you think God was going to
Let that pass
So while I wiped tears and explained the truth
The wrath of God was catching
Up to you
So he placed you back where you belong
And God willing this time you’ll realize you were wrong !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah
Toxic thoughts can’t flood my mind
and neither can you mess up my state of mind …
What you bring to the table can be replaced after all the things in life I faced .
I can see your pain but I need to feel mine
it was only a matter of time
I knew this would happen but I’m ok
I understand there are things in life you rather chase .
The words I love you are so easily said but clearly not what you feel in your head ,
your heart may feel the things you need to feel but your mind is somewhere else I know the deal .
I respect your decision and your way of life , so I’ll let you go and won’t reach out or check if you’re ok because at the end of the day this is not ok
I’m tired of you thinking about only you and what feels good to you .
I can no longer be anyones fool .
Trust me you’ll miss me one day and turn around and say
this is one game I shouldn’t have played . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
If you wonder if I hurt and if I feel pain the question is yes but I refuse to die in vain .
. I do my best to fight harder than before and let go of all the things that I ever did .
I do best to accept all my sins
I do my best to never conform again
To life that has no life in the end
You see me and I’m always smiling
That’s a way to never remind myself once upon a time I was dying
Dying to be heard , understood and remembered
Dying to be loved , protected and respected
Dying to find something that was a part
Of who I was
They say karmas a bitch that something to remember
But always remember with God on my side I will never surrender
The thoughts of devil that make me feel like I should pay for all things I did .
I refuse to believe the Devils way of making me feel like life’s in my way .
I’ll change and never go back to being the same and you will remember my face as I continue to pray . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
My words at time may offend you because my truth was is real
my ways may confuse you because my heart was so free .
My eyes may have blind you because there’s no other like me .
See you will never forget the things that I said the awkward things that I do and the carefree spirit that I have . I’m all real nothing fake I know where I came from
who I am and where I’m going .
Material things I can take or leave
although I love nice things .all I asked is you Love me for me ,
a woman so honest and true a woman who expects nothing but the truth , a woman who do everything for you,
a woman who let you breathe ,
a woman who would hold you down ,
a woman who is capable to break you down
but choose to build you up . a woman with a loving heart
a beast that let no one mark her heart .
Thank god I finally can see, I can see and I’m free ,
free from all lies and deceit
I’m free from all the things I couldn’t see
I’m free from all the things I say would never be me
I’m free and can see flying free over history
bounded by my life
no more trying to figure you out your past pain and fears .
I live as I please and value who’s close to me and you don’t fit into that category
I’m no longer blinded by words
I can see . I can see further then you thought but exactly what you reap .. I told you Gods not finished with me … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
I will never again allow myself to become fixated on the things that get me intoxicated ….
Who I am can’t be duplicated only solidified by how I move and the things I say .
Perfect example like not being heard I’m not going to yell scream I’m just going go on my way
and surround myself around the people who get what I say .
I know the things I talk about is deep , deeper the then your mind is probably willing creep .
Deep cause the thoughts I’m not scared to say
so the things that I say make you want run and not face your demons
so rather dance with the devil and hide your pain . Do you really think your pain is going to vanish like the wind that touches your face
or are you that scared of the truth so continue to do what you do .
Like going out every night having fun selling your soul to the devil so you can’t see
now you wonder why you can’t breathe or sleep at peace with life tugging at your mind .
Not having faith that Gods by your side .
Have you ever thought your soul was tainted and being integrated by good and bad
that’s why things don’t go as planned .
Don’t you believe that a devil has a plan to bring you down and keep away and never think of heavens face .
So take another one to the head as long as you feel whole
but really your just really another lost soul … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©
I remember when the mirror wasn’t so kind to me
I saw everything that you thought I would be ,
like a whore , a slut a woman who would never amount too much .
But now I look in the mirror and I see the truth .
And I am ok with me with the scars you see , I’m OK with my tattoos .
I’m ok with the things I was embarrassed I did ,
I’m ok with the tears that run down my face ,
I’m ok with hurt ,
I’m ok with my pain ,
I’m ok because I don’t live in vain ,
I’m ok with how I love .
I’m ok with who I am . I’m ok with the abuse
but I’m ok with being abused
I’m ok cause I survived everything in my life .
I have to walk away if don’t you respect who I am or how I live .
There’s certain things I know I can’t salvage .
I can’t empathize anymore with your pain I survived mine .
You should try survive yours and fight like you never fought before ….. Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©