Deeper Then The Gym … 

Back at it again  The weight heavier 

then before

I hope

 I don’t break a sweat 

Balancing life 

on my feet 

I’m pushing through 

Closing my eyes 

so you can’t 

see the truth 

I’m scared 

my legs 

will give in 

And tears 

will run down my face 

But all the pain 

I’m feeling 

Makes me want 

to push this weight 

I’m far from weak

Can you see my strength 

Holding in my stomach

I inhale my truth 

Breathing out slowly 


All things 

I subconsciously 

put myself through 

But I can’t stop now 

Do you see the change ? 

I do 

Finally beating the odds 

And I didn’t have to go to a doctor 

To see me through

This pain still hurts 

I can’t lie

But I’ll be damned 

if I go to a doctor 

to get me by 

I want to understand the pain 

Some say pain is weakness leaving the body 

I’m starting to believe 

this to be true  

Insecurities I’m 

finally Learning 

to control 

But I can’t over do it 

I have to gradually 

Pull through 

Im not trying 

try to show you

I’m better then anyone 

Or prove a point 

I’m pushing 

my own 


To see what I can do

I don’t want to stay the same

This change isn’t in vain 

You may not understand some of my complicated ways 

But I must stay focused 

So I don’t lose my way 

The day will come where 

you all will 


my pain and my words 

 I chose to say !!!

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

Published by

Rachel Shundari ullah

I am a strong woman / mother that has been on my own since 14 years old without the proper guidance or structure. I am currently a volunteer for true2life . I have a purpose deeper then just me , I am the founder and president of my non profit organization named Its Beneath The Surface ( I am U ) . Our mission is to create a universal support system for our youth , teenagers , parents ,and adults of all ages that deal with everyday adversities .