Money Doesn’t Define Me …

I just don’t understand why 

do things have to 

Be so difficult 

The truth will always shine 

I never lived In vain 

I just do my best to enjoy the days

And never to forget about other 

People and their emotional pain … 
How can a someone 

 give so much of their self 

with nothing to show  

She gives her heart 

and wears it on her sleeve 

Loving everyone equally 

She holds your hand 

when you cry

And does her best 

And wonders 

Why do the good 

have to constantly 

fight to survive 

Never had a thing 

handed to her 

had to fight 

for what ever 

she needed

All she wanted 

 was the ones she love to succeed 

Should She stop 

loving so hard 

and give back what 

She gets 

Like a people 

 that forget about 

her well being 

every chance 

They get 

That’s not how 

She operates 

that’s truth 

You don’t even have a clue 
She sits a home sometimes  

Fighting these demons 

That make her feel a certain way 

It comes in all forms 

Whether it’s word to hurt 

Or actions to take away 

Or someone just not understanding 

Her pain 

She never claimed to be an angel

And never  selfishly thought 

She could of bought herself anything .

Money didn’t mean a thing 

“I got it , no worries it’s on me ”

Those were the words that made her feel complete 

Knowing that everyone smiled 

Made her heart skip a beat 

But was she really overcompensating 

for the things you couldn’t see .

 Nope That was always she !!! 

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

Come On … What Do You See?!?

Can you read 

what my lips say 

or are focused 

on the shape 

Can you see 

what I’m trying 

 To say 

or are you wondering 

how I taste 

Do you realize 

the woman 

that stands before you

Or are you caught up 

in your ways 

Or are you 

caught up with 

the type woman 

you been inside 

Like a woman 

that can’t see 

through your eyes 

Or a woman 

that can’t see 

beneath your lies 

Or maybe 

your caught up 

with a woman 

that freely 

gives you 

what’s in between 

her thighs 

Look a little closer 

No closer …

Can you see 

through my eyes

Are you sure 

What do you see ? 

Do you see 

a woman 

who’s complete 

A woman who 

doesn’t compete 

A woman who 

has standards 

And dreams 

A woman who

doesn’t sit well 

with defeat 

A woman 

whose feet 

are stable 

and soul is free 

Can you see 

or are you blind 

because my 

lips are saying 

What you 

want to see 


come here  


come get 

Some of me 

I need your touch 

I want you inside of me 

Pause for a minute 

Is that really what you  

You see . 

You don’t see 

a woman that 

Holds herself with class 

And respect 

You don’t see 

a woman who’s not 

Showing her breast 

You don’t see a woman who Believes in what’s right 

or a woman 

Who doesn’t like to fight 

Or a woman 

who respects 

everyone equally 

or a woman 

Who has faith 

in God completely 

This shit is crazy 

I don’t get the logic 

how did my lips 

become such 

a ugly topic .  
Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

What’s Lupus Got To Do With It !!!

I’ve seen women  
who have surgery 

to make theirselves 

look better . 

I’m a woman 

who post 

videos and pictures . 

But you are someone

God continues to deliver 

giving you strength 

so we all can see 

the bigger picture . 

Don’t stop , 

keep going 

is the message 

you send 

No obstacle 

is to big 

it’s all 

in your head 

You can fight

 if you never stop 

Keep going 

Look at me 

I’m not even 

what the world 

considers healthy 

But spiritually 

and mentally 

I’m built 

 for this war 

And you will see 

I won’t suffer 

no more 

Sometimes days 

are harder 

then others 

That’s when  

I keep going 

This journey 

I’m on 

its easy 

 To Lose focus.

 But see the way

 I’m built 

I won’t fade away 

God continues 

to heal me 


The strength 

you see 

May be misunderstood 

But I know exactly 

what I need 

To set an 

healthy example 

Don’t forget 

my daughter is watching me … 

Who better then me 

to show her the 

true definition of a Queen … 
Original By 

Rachel Shundari Ullah 

Nothing Like A Mommy …

Mommy oh how that word 

makes all the

 pain and hurt 

worth it 

that word mommy

 makes it all 

make sense 

, that word mommy 

that word 

 that’s keeps 

you pushing 

to do your best ,

 that word mommy 

when it doesn’t matter 

if you rest,  

that word mommy 

some are 

mothers and fathers  

That word mommy 

puts fathers  

that chose 

not to be 

daddy’s to shame . 

 A Mommy never lives in vain 

but mothers do 

That word mommy 

will push you through 

That word mommy 

is not a easy 

word to carry 

Mothers do what they should 

but  a Mommy 

She Does the most 

Mommy will

make sure to build her children up  

When they’re losing focus 

Mothers will just go with the flow 

Mommy will make you see 

the bigger picture 

and teach you things 

and make you dig deeper 

Even if it’s letting you go 

Mothers will enable 

a child to stay the same 

and not do their best 

or enforce change 

A Mommy will set boundaries 

that must be met 

Mothers will just allow their children to vent 

A Mommy will 

 always make sure 

all is well 

even when her child 

is giving her hell 

Mommy will never give up 

but mothers do . 

A mommy will teach 

you a lesson or two 

Whether it be 

 forced consequences 

that must show 

You the ropes 

Or showing you 

without the help 

of a mommy 

it’s easy to lose hope   
Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

I Pray For You If You Prey On Me

I thank you god cause I know 

you could of 

made it harder 

for me . 

after all the things  

I’ve seen 

and been through 

you didn’t 

let me fall 

. I might of 

scraped my knees 

but that’s when 

you forced me 

to my knees 

Showing me everything

 I didn’t see 

Like it was time 

to start planning 

and doing things differently 

No more running

from my truth 

No more waiting 

for someone 

to lessen my pain

From running 

from life’s vicious ways 

Time to face 

my demons head one 

Fear of being alone 

Who’s going 

embrace my truth 

Scared to face 

my insecurities 

like who else 

is going to want me 

These scars and tattoos 

Who is going to respect my story 

Or is another one 

going to add to my Pain 

A full circle 
this has to be 

gods test 

So I continue 

to build myself up

to be my very best 

Learning every lesson 

is gods blessing 

once we pass the 

test .

Time has a way 

of healing all wounds 

I may remain internally bruised 

but never giving 


the tools again 

So I will remain 

vulnerable in my strength ,

 I won’t pretend 

I know god 

knows my heart 

and the things 

that set me apart . 

So I may lay alone 

but God knows 

I could of easily 

picked up my phone 

and released all my  energy 

With someone 

who’s spiritually 

 not healthy for me 

that is preying on me 

to see what feels 

like to be 

with a woman 

Like me … 

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

Sister Love 

My sister how can I explain you were alway there  

To feel my pain 

and though sometimes 

you didn’t get my ways 

and times made us go our separate ways . 

Once back again 

You never changed your heart or picked me apart 

You accepted me for me 

You looked at me 

and said 

I got your back 

I’ll help you get back on track .

 there’s so much you did for me 

when I couldn’t see 

and I needed a vision 

deeper then me . 

You took the lead 

and showed me the way .

 We even went to church to pray our demons away .

 I recognize you 

for all you do 

and appreciate 

every part of you , 

even with some 

of our irrational ways 

or the days 

we didn’t see eye to eye . 

You never let my tears 

run dry 

without drying my eyes . 

I thank you for 

all you did . 

You are appreciated 

Never will I leave you alone

 to deal with life 

or the things 

that are difficult to manage 

. I got your back 

like you have always have mine . 

No matter time 

or place ill always been on time . 

Your rock when 

You need to cry 

and I’ll give you time 

when You need space . 

Spiritually you know 

I’ve always felt your pain . 

So I will make sure 

I call you to take your pain away. 

Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Nothing Makes Any Sense … 

Nothing makes sense …

I never knew love

because I don’t

remember your embrace

Watching you

 wither away before my eyes

Felt like a knifes embrace

I ended up chasing

A dream

Loving boys

that reminded me

Of love I never seen

I don’t remember

much of your words

for you

never said much

You ask me

how my mom was

and told me to never give up

I watched my mother struggle

and continue

to be emotionally abused

Men never the same

I believe in my heart

she never stopped loving you

Not sure why you didn’t stay together

I wish I knew the truth

My insecurity starting to shine

I’m starting to hate you

I don’t know how

to go about my days

After you faded away

Drinking at 12

seems to take my pain away

Kissing boys

and fighting in school

I wish someone

 understood my pain

Maybe me burning myself

Will make someone see

 it’s not vain

I don’t even know

how to love me

The demons that lied within

you are now within me

Lies that mask my pain

wondering why my family

wasn’t the same

From what I witnessed everyday

I hated the days

that past like

Father’s Day Dance

Did I really have to explain

My father died

because of drugs he put in his veins ??

So I lied

and said he wasn’t around

you’ll see him one day

Like I was so proud

Knowing that my father

 died of AIDS .

But how can I explain

that the right way

without scaring people away …

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Sex Isn’t Everything …

Your concerned with my body
Or what I do with my mouth
Your scared I’m going to show the next person all the things your going without
Like security from a woman that held you down
physically .
Sexually ,
mentally ,
And emotionally
you never went a day without
I made sure to show you
how I felt
like catering to you
when you weren’t
the best
Holding your hand
when I knew you never
been loved like this
I didn’t give up
I did my best
I even allow you
to put me through some test
I told you the truth while
you thought they were lies
Reassurance is what you live for
Your insecurity shines
Your words want to imprison my mind
but your dysfunction
is no longer a part of my life .
All the hateful things you say
You rather see me stay
the same
Then except my change
What do you expect for me
to do is turn into everything
I once was
to see things through
bothered by your words
and actions are furthest
from my thoughts
Your mental prison
no longer has me
behind your four walls of hell
Something to think about
when you’re repenting yourself
Look around
and see who surrounds
your days and nights
do you even pray for me
I told you this is something
that has come to an end
I don’t argue
to get my point across
or validate how you feel
messing with my emotions
for so long
I can no longer feel
Your heart never beat for me
It’s hate I see when I look in your eyes
Wonder why you want
me spiritually dead
That’s because all the things
that go
On in your head
How many people
have you lied
And manipulated
that you feel
Like everyone is the same as you
You can’t get away
from your reflection
it’s every where
you look
Sex is not something
that will get you far
Physically thinking
you can penetrate your
problems away
Waiting for the day
I see things your way
That could never happen again
I’m not in the same place
A woman that allows you
to throw life in her face
Or a person you created in your head
Do you get it yet
that part of me is dead
Settling for less
than what
I deserve
will never happen again
The man who gets my heart , my time , my lips, my mind , is the one that understands my spirit not just my flesh !!

Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah