Respect the season … 

 I’m mindful of my words always 

 . I hope you realize

 this is a love that will NEVER return after gone . 

You know I hold on to our connection  

, that’s why I never wanted to love you from afar 

Then I reflect and realize that those things no longer exists in you  

 my body I can’t share with a man 

that’s never there 

Your emotionally vacant 

This isn’t fair .

 I met you as Man 

that showed concern 

and love 

Someone willing to fight for me 

and put on his gloves 

A matter fact 

I think back 

So thoughtful  

you were 

We just met 

I think about the man that would say ” thinking about you ” no more no less . 

I’m thinking about the man I built with 

and worried about my well being .

 I’m thinking about the man 

I was willing to give my love 

every day or evening . 

I thinking about the man 

when 

Leaving wasn’t on my mind . 

Calculated movement 

Seeing if I snap 

See I’m a different type of woman 

I’ll never attack 

I know who I am 

And what I bring to the table 

I was only 

Showing you a woman 

that was willing and able . 

When things cross my mind 

And feelings enter my heart 

I base my response off of your words 

Not my emotion , it’s called trust 

But I’m tired of trusting your words 

When your actions don’t add up 

 I made all my efforts 

to introduce you 

to the type of woman 

I am and trust and believe

 I don’t switch up . 

You know me long enough

 to see I’m as real as it gets 

if you’re a god sent for reason 

Instead of lifetime this season I’ll respect . 

By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

Damsel in distress? not me ! 

Broken , Me ? get the best of me ? 

Trust me 

That’s something 

you’ll never see 

You think 

I would allow your 

manipulative ways 

To suffocate me ? 

You must be crazy 

See the minute you met me 

you should of did your homework 

really got to know me 

A damsel in distress

 Not me 

I’ll stay lonely before you get me to cry you a river 

A soul like mine 

will eat a soul like yours for dinner 

I’m no intentional sinner 

But your coming for my heart  

You’re a soul digger 

I’m about spiritually pull the trigger 

Heart wrenching , soul searching , 

Hiding truths

You won’t even let your eyes penetrate mine 

Your probably scared , terrified 

See you’re not built to go to war with a woman like me . Spiritually , mentally , even physically you couldn’t hang with me . 

the minute eyes were on me 

You called it a “distraction ”

probably 

Scared of being with a main attraction. 

A Queen that deserves more than a fraction 

Of who you are today 

A “boy “to a prince not yet a King … that’s why you don’t know how to embrace a Queen like me …  

by Rachel Shundari Ullah

 

Universal Prayer 

” I have something on my mind 

and I need to pray 

 to my Most High . 

Lord god please 

take the pain and away 

and lay your healing 

hands on the ones 

whose pain won’t fade .  

I listen to stories from so many . 

So many hurt , 

confused , 

traumatized , 

and broken inside .  

It makes me understand 

 why people are so sad inside . 

 I pray for all 

 disease 

including mental 

I pray for 

addiction 

for 

loss 

or for the people 

that have lost their 

self during the cause . 

 Lord what I ask is ,  

Please give me the strength to pray everyday  

give me the understanding

 I need in order to continue to 

restore faith .   

Give me the endurance 

to face my everyday 

 And Please open the eyes of those that believe they are the only ones that have unresolved pain. 

And lord I pray that we all come together treat each other 

without judgement

 and let us stop placing blame 

Let us all remember 

 We never know what 

everyone is faced with today 

  No matter gender ,

 race , religion , 

belief system 

or political view . 

 Addiction ,

  death and suicide

 is at a all time high 

, we need to stick together to get by . ” 

By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Tough love 

It’s time to let go You’re not children anymore 

I can’t save the day 

Or force you to pray 

I can’t make you see the sun 

Through the rain 

I can’t change the game

I have to let you feel the pain 

Of your everyday 

I wanted to shelter you from the world 

And their vicious ways

Or the way society 

plays that  good old money game

But I can’t 

allow you to remain

 the same 

A prisoner of my nurturing ways 

I need to let you go 

So you can finally see 

Things aren’t as easy as it seems 

Disappointments will arise 

Victory will follow 

Being grateful and have faith in god 

 is the key to everything 

Soon you will see it’s doesn’t have to be a drink , relationships , weed or shopping sprees 

It will be just being happy 

To see 

being happy to breathe

 being happy in peace .

It took a minute for me to heal 

from what the world did to me 

So I can’t rush your process 

I have to let  go 

I may not be not holding your hand 

Any more 

But  in my heart  I will never let you  go … 

By Rachel Shundari Ullah 
 

I am kept 

Pain and purpose

“I give my self away 

so you can use me ”

You chose me 

Some loathe me 

You chose me 

Some ignored me 

You chose me 

Some confused me 

You chose 

Some abused me 

You chose me 

Some forgot me 

You chose me 

Some abandoned me 

You chose me 

Some scarred me 

You chose me 

Some hurt me 

You chose me 

 Even when I let you down 

You chose me 

spiritually . Physically and mentally 

Carried me 

I am not only a chosen by God 

I am kept 

By Rachel Shundari Ullah 

11/23 

Happy Birthday Mommy , your face so far away 

The memories linger 

Why you couldn’t stay 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

It’s your daughter you loved 

Continuing to fight for the things 

I know you love 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

You grandchildren are all doing fine 

Times has a funny way of making things alright 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

I thank you for all you did 

Even the time I didn’t understand why the devil was trying to win 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

The strongest woman I’ve ever known  

I wonder how many could of fought the way you did 

And put on a show 
And Even when you were blind and couldn’t see 

You laughed and trusted people that you never seen 

Happy Birthday mommy 

Your a Queen 

Your heart forever resonates 

Memories of a mother 

No one could ever take your place 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

 I never wanted for anything

 you always did your best 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

your strength is amazing you were the best 

You only 

stopped fighting 

when you had no more life

 and too much pain in your chest 

I didn’t think you would sacrifice 

Your life 
The things you did to prove to me your love was real 

Cutting all the things out in your life that made you forget your pain 

Hurting so much but showing me you always loved me enough to change 

Happy Birthday mommy

 I wish the world never hurt you 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

I’m taking over lead 

The things you instilled me 

The world will eventually see 

Fighting to live 

as I continue to breath 

Learning see what’s 

 good for me 

Never giving up 

fighting harder 

then before 

But 

this time Gods on my side 

Trust me my efforts will not be ignored … 
Original By 

Rachel Shundari Ullah 

11/23 

Happy Birthday Mommy , your face so far away 

The memories linger 

Why you couldn’t stay 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

It’s your daughter you loved 

Continuing to fight for the things 

I know you love 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

You grandchildren are all doing fine 

Times has a funny way of making things alright 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

I thank you for all you did 

Even the time I didn’t understand why the devil was trying to win 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

The strongest woman I’ve ever known  

I wonder how many could of fought the way you did 

And put on a show 
And Even when you were blind and couldn’t see 

You laughed and trusted people that you never seen 

Happy Birthday mommy 

Your a Queen 

Your heart forever resonates 

Memories of a mother 

No one could ever take your place 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

 I never wanted for anything

 you always did your best 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

your strength is amazing you were the best 

You only 

stopped fighting 

when you had no more life

 and too much pain in your chest 

I didn’t think you would sacrifice 

Your life 
The things you did to prove to me your love was real 

Cutting all the things out in your life that made you forget your pain 

Hurting so much but showing me you always loved me enough to change 

Happy Birthday mommy

 I wish the world never hurt you 

Happy Birthday Mommy 

I’m taking over lead 

The things you instilled me 

The world will eventually see 

Fighting to live 

as I continue to breath 

Learning see what’s 

 good for me 

Never giving up 

fighting harder 

then before 

But 

this time Gods on my side 

Trust me my efforts will not be ignored … 

Can you hear me now 

Who are you ? Please tell me 

Do you see my face

Do I look pleased 

Im a testament 

of the strength god gave me 

With the pain 

that has been instilled in me 

My eyes see 

through your eyes 

So if your busy 

wondering 

If what I’m saying 

are Lies

You will be in 

for a big surprise 

You will now see 

Everything I said 

 I wanted to be 

Is everything 

I’m striving to be 

Sorry 

 you can’t clown me 

my crown is on 

I told you how I felt 

and I wasn’t untruthful

But your vocal muscles

 you chose to use

beat me to a pulp 

And while I was choking 

You didn’t give me hope 

So how could you be mad 

Because I’m holding my ground

And not allowing anyone to bring me down

See God is the center of my life 

And he comes first 

So that means 

Before what you have 

who you know 

The strings you could pull 

The things you  

expect me to say 

Trust me 

I will not say

I can’t play 

this malicious game 

I Wonder how many Woman 

you treat the same 

I’ve knocking on these doors 

mentally 

But no one is hearing me 

Time to kick them down 

Not physically , spiritually … 

Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah 

Visionary 

So let me ask you a question ? what do you see when you look at me ? Do you see a visionary or just a woman that visions your mind 

Clouding mine 

or do you vision 

The thoughts of your hands sliding in Btwn my thighs 

or do you envision walking side by side or completing ones sentences and seeing eye to eye . Or do you envision my lips in Btwn your thighs 

wondering how I ride 

or if I could show you a good time . 

Doesn’t even matter the time or place yours or mine . 

A park or bench 

imagine the things that run through my mind . That doesn’t mean your gonna see that part of me so quickly 

if you were to envision my vision you would see there’s levels to this so don’t act clueless waiting for a clue 

Like your playing a game 

. Like I. Need to be tamed  

. take the time and envision my vision 

you might see exactly 

what your missing 

A woman that has a vision 

and it’s not focused or your goals. her vision is to get through life with mean precision 

and reach submission 

while maintaining conditioned . Conditioned for war but ready for love . 

My vision is to never give up . Only if you can envision my vision without clouding yours from your past experience . 

So what’s your vision is it 20 /20 or are you blind to a real woman that has has a vision 

and doesn’t consist 

of living off your vision .

she moves like a boss

 and leads like horse 

prepared to open the minds of those that are lost .

 See I have vision but your too busy envisioning your vision .

 Clearly we are not same page

 so I’ll fall back and you can envision your vision with a woman that has no vision .

Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah