A love like this ….

Back to the basic
but nothing simple
Reminded how life can take you for ride
You think you’re all good
Until your faced with all the lies
How do I start all over again
Pushing myself to a new level
Understanding my body is my temple
And I can’t give it away to anyone
Time to learn myself more than before
Like the things that make me feel free
Emotionally safe
Spiritually In Tuned
With the things I love to do
Loving my life today more than yesterday
Can’t allow anyone to take away from my reflection
I apologize if you feel the rejection
It’s nothing personal
my heart is bleeding for things I’ve been missing
I’m happy within
not scared to be alone
But never afraid to one day call a man my own
Secrets never told our
bond is so real
I’m not threatened by his movement his
Words never questioned because he shares his days and nights
I know some may get a glimpse of his eyes but I’m not scared cause I will make sure when we are together his eyes will be engulfed in mine
As I smile and speak of only the things that emotionally make him feel alive
Mentally stimulate him at the same time
Loving my mind and my actions that follow my words
A woman willing to give him the world
Counting me in
because I never
counted him out .
This love is we will share is real without a shadow of doubt
We will share our dreams and where we fall short
He will let me passionately get my point across
And I’ll allow him to respectfully tell me How He feels
even if it means
putting his foot down and letting me know the deal.
I’ll hear his words and not just listen to what he says
I will never allow another person stand in our way
I will never question the way he feels as long as he continues to love me the same
Keeping me sane when things don’t go my way
by comforting me but not pacifying my heart .
Understanding that sometimes distance can make relationship fall apart .
So whether he’s at work or spending his day being a man
I’ll understand as long
as he add me in some of his plans
and treat me like his lover and his best friend . This is the kind of love I believe will never end !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Blueprint ….

Don’t remember my face
for it will forever remain the same .
Remember everything I once was too you
and all I gave
remember a soul
that you will forever miss , remember my mind
and what It initially thought about you ,
Remember all the simple things I loved and how I was true
and once you remember all of that remember how you didn’t even really take the time get to know me ,
so you never had a clue …
Now your lost
and confused ,
But I told you how
I would move .
I’m willing to
Own where I fell short
If you’re willing to admit you pushed me away
Playing all the manipulative mind games you play
Your passive aggressive ways
No longer leads the way
I’m tired of bowing down
to make you feel complete
When your words strip me
A make me feel like whore in
the street
You question my character like you can’t see
A little cleavage doesn’t mean I give my love away easy
Maybe it means I feel sexy today
Or maybe it makes feel slimmer then yesterday
your nasty words tell me what you think of me
Like I don’t have dignity
And I don’t carry myself with respect
Social media don’t mean Shit to me
Do you see me showing my ass for likes
I’m showing dinner that was right on time
and I love my family more than life
It’s hard to count you in
When you constantly count me out
The words you say change your face
I’m learning to block everything you say
My music is speaking words you should be listening too
But your running around looking for a clue
Verbally Communicating I tried to do
That phone in your hand tells the truth
You should have taken the time to read the blueprint I gave to you … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Fluid strength

Breaking through the waves of life
Finding peace deep inside
Living free
Seeing clear
Facing all internal obstacles
with ease
The pain I once felt
Is no longer part of me
So I breath
and take the next step
No longer limited in my head
The feelings I get
are all heaven-sent
The love I feel is real
Feeling free
loving me
Spirit bounded
no more
Feet stable
Heart once cold
is now warm
I never thought
I could get to a place
where I pray
and learn to have faith
in heavens face
I’m watching
all my troubles
be washed away
Crashing waves
is what I see
This feeling is great
The strength of the water
is now a part of my soul
Knocking all the walls down .
That held me back for so long
Not understanding why
No one understood me
Silently Living in pain
The mirror no longer reveals my ways , insecurity that lied so deep within me
The reflection I see today is exactly how God made me before the world took my spirit away… Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

you have nothing to lose !!!

It’s hurts to watch your spirit fade
Don’t let a man change your ways
Stay beautiful , the same
one day a king will come and change your name
A man that calls hisself the N word can never understand your pain
Because he’s to busy living ignorantly living in vain
Queen remember this
You deserve to reign
To be respected
, understood
You don’t deserve to feel like you always do
Crying to get your point across
Praying he finds a clue
Not valuing his family
Acting like he has nothing to lose
Like a woman who will always be true
Or holds him down when the world is cruel
See queen you’re the one that hasn’t nothing lose
He hasn’t shown more than his words not being true
Taking away from the way you see your face
Or how you feel when another woman temporality takes your place
That type of man is a natural disgrace
And trust me is easily replaced !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Microwave Love …

cooking in the kitchen
the aroma of love
that makes my eyes glisten
Hands making love to the pot
Until you get home
Sharing my heart
with the one I love
is something I yearn for
Clinging to a familiar touch
Understanding time shows the truth
Waiting as my eyes get heavy
Hoping my food taste the same
when I heat it up
It sucks to feel like
no matter my efforts
I’m waiting for a heart
that’s focused on everything
but me .
First on your priority
list is you
feeding you like a king
when you treat me like a
A woman that doesn’t
deserve to reign
You think by now
I learn my lesson
Things never change
But I’m sure
the minute you show up
I’ll rise to the occasion
fix your plate
love on you even
though I’m second guessing
If this is the kind of love
I want
I deserve more
Like someone who puts me on a pedestal and praise me like never before
Why do I show my face
to one whose heart
is so far away .
Who has me waiting
like I’m second place
I don’t know if this
is what I want to do .
So the next time
I’ll continue to cook for me
and won’t worry about you .
Because my love left in the microwave
is not cool !!!. Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Never say never???? …. Never !!!!!!

it is God who
I owe my loyalty too
He who always provides
no matter what I go through
I don’t owe the streets
They never did a damn thing for me
No more sleepless nights
I didn’t ask for perfect
I just asked for peace
The kind peace that defeats the devil in my sleep
Passing through
is what I’m doing
Leaving a legacy
of things
I need to say
Reminding us all the devil
is creeping and slithering like a snake in a lake
Fast and precise
wanting my soul
In the night
Willing to go to any lengths to get my attention
Let me not forget to mention
this all while he has erection
Hard enough to see a woman
Like me give it up
I’m child of God stop
Trying to my taint my soul
My body is my temple
And redemption is my truth
So I’m sorry , I can’t give my body to you
Stop throwing money in my face
your money holds no weight
or the car you drive
Doesn’t resonate
Or where you vacation
Is something
I don’t celebrate
Because it’s not hard work that got you to that place
Serving the streets
as families
Kids loosing parents
families destroyed
Because their loyalty
Is with what you supply
Do you really think
that’s the kind of guy
I want in my life
One who works for devil
And creates feens
And contributes to mental disease
One whose life
is not all cracked up as it seems
I’m sorry I can’t support your dreams
I understand you want to live better but at what cost
All you contribute the world is heart ache , confusion and pain
Your wearing a child’s dreams and education around your wrist
and around neck is a childs lost faith .
Because of someone in their life ,
mental state
You feed vulnerable souls
And Give them hope
You love them unconditionally
Even when their about to choke
You see them struggling to pay their dues
What kind of shit you think they are putting family through
Coming to you with a tv , jewelry or their money for food
Now for sure that family doesn’t
Stand a chance
But that doesn’t matter to you
Your eating good
Able to push Benz
or the car you chose
Showing off in your hood
your money is being used in vain
Setting a horrible example
now kids are watching
how you move . Jading our youth ..
I can never again be with a man like you !!!!original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

The struggle …

Let me , introduce myself
my name is Rachel
As you can see
I don’t
Even reach 5 ‘3
I have goals and dreams
And I wish everyone could see
My soul
I love long walks in the park
Or to sit under a tree
I love deep conversations
And I’m not crazy about weed
and I hate drugs
I’ll enjoy a drink or two
so I’ll drink with you
But in the morning
we have things to do
I love to hear the laughter
of my family
And hate to see pain
I dislike selfish ways and anyone
lives in vain
In my home God first
Then all the things we need
and want
we want to do
Need and want are two different
So don’t expect everything
But expect me to hold you
Down and do my best to own my crown . And show you how a queen treats her king .
Like like cleaning , cooking you dinner
And building you up
Encouraging you to never give up
Reassuring you , letting you know you’re the only one for me
Praying for you when you can’t see
Letting you be
when you need breathe
Loving your family like they were my own
Holding your hand if you ever felt alone
Reminding you there’s so much more to life
Like smiling , laughing and loving life
And when you get caught up with what’s next
I’ll ease the pain in your chest
By saying the words
I believe in you and no matter what babe will make it through
I’ll support your dreams as I continue to reach for mine
I’ll never let another man take your shine just follow through who you said you would be
And I will never allow another man to get close to me … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

I prayed that day …

This hurt confusion and pain please take it away the devil is trying to place condemnation in my face .
I need to step away from anyones that pain can’t fade away .
Life is only in my way
if I don’t want to change .
It hurts to stay the same
God please release the pain .
I thought I choose the best
I guess this was gods test
to see if my heart stop fighting for my kids while I had pain in my chest ,
I need to run away .
I can no longer own this the pain
it hurts too much ,
can you feel it in my touch .
I don’t want no more of this
I prayed to God that day
, and asked for angels to guide me to the right place ,
I feel free today
the pain fade away
and my hearts beats the same
. I need love today
who takes the place of a man that’s heart is so far away .
I cooked dinner today
do you want a plate
, I hate that you don’t even listen to a word I say .
Can we get along after all this time
I’m not doing fine
I need your time
But your heart is far away
And you’re fading away
You’re not everything that you said you would be
Depression takes over me
It was only a matter of time
This isn’t me .
My life matters can’t you see . Stopping looking at me , is that all you see body and flesh . Lord I will do anything take this pain from me , the Devils knocking at my door ,
I can’t do this anymore !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Keep smiling

I smile through the nonsense , and laugh through the pain
I’m only able to do that
cause I have faith
God is paving my way
teaching me how to love life
Learning how to dismiss the
Things that take away from
The person I am
Believing even the bad
is in gods plan
The devil does its best to change the way you think
So you must dig deep
and don’t allow your thoughts submit
To anything but peace
Feeling cheated , left alone , forgotten
Don’t let it trigger
your thoughts
Do your best to fight harder than before
Sometimes your phone
will be dry
and emotions will run high
Those are temporary emotions
Let that shit fly
Never allow your heart to get the better of your mind
Forcing someone to get who you are is not life
Hold your ground don’t feed into your emotions
The only thing that will do is make you lose focus
So maybe today didn’t go your way and tomorrow may not either
But trust me the rest of your days will depend on how you handle today .
There are consequences behind words that you say
or the words
you should never say .
So breathe and don’t let the devil get his way
He just wants to add heart ache and pain . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Pain washed away

I’m backed to being focused
I was wrapped up in my emotions
I’m back and ready to reach for the stars
While I’m enjoying the blessings before me
Blue waters
Life no longer passing me
Loving life
Even the days
And nights I lay alone
It shows me more
What I want
The simple things
but nothing basic
Passion brings my heart
to life
Watching family
as time made all grow
Watching my loved
ones become
their own
Living with purpose
as the wind blows fast
the sun disappears
Waves crash
Sky becomes dark
But I’m no longer afraid
So I dance in the rain …
My pain is gone I’ve been longing for this day
It hurts so much less thinking about the ones the never stayed
This is who I am
Living life free
Finally learning to love me all of me
Never reminded again of the things that use to be me … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah