Keep fighting !!!

alcohol , pills ,
heroine , cocaine
And sometimes Weed …
Is this the only way
to get along
Or hide your pain
Or your Shame
While you listen to everyone’s change
Listen to the truth
we are all individuals
It will be easy for some
And harder for others
It doesn’t mean you get discouraged
Step by step,
little by little
Don’t beat yourself up
No more abuse
You can fight it
if you try
And realize
Everyone experienced a different
Don’t give up
You matter too much
People need you
The world needs a person
Who tells the truth
And doesn’t submit to the thoughts of death
So you can tell the world or you neighbor next door
How you changed
You never know you may
Save the day
Or someone’s life
By telling them to continue to fight
And you survived
The hurt the pain
the sorrow
The rain
The confusion
The hate
The envy
The Shame
The days that you just want to
Just Run away
And the nights you just want
To fade away
And when all is said and done
You never stop praying and you always believe in Heavens face .
That’s the truth that needs to be heard
Who cares if the world doesn’t
Get who are
And the 12 steps didn’t get you far !!!
So what if your family or friends don’t forgive you as long as you forgive yourself .
I respect anyone that’s fighting
For help … Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

I’m different …

I have goals and dreams
I can’t let that go
Your ways may work for you
But not something I’m into
See you don’t see the truth at hand
If it’s not if gods plan you don’t stand a chance
I’m not talking about this life
I live and walk in my truth
I fall short but we all do
Now I’m going to show you how Christ wins
My fight will never exhaust my mind
Even if I’m working until sunrise
Only a select few were chosen to view things the way I do
My job is to keep it real and tell you works for me .
Staying positive
Staying away from the streets
Believing in myself
And never letting the world
Dictate my ways
Staying away from anything
thoughts that make me want to fade away
And lose my way
You can’t touch me I’m on God speed
So your ways can’t phase me
Or the Devils temptation won’t succeed
I’ll never get lost in thoughts
That take away from my state of mind
Loving myself first is not a crime
Just remember you came for me
And I just did the opposite of what you expected of me … Original Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

What did you expect ?!?

Try to Understand my pain
How deep my wounds
Living with thoughts,
no clue
How did you expect me move
I told you the things I would do
If your words weren’t true
Now you’re mad cause I’m doing exactly whAt I said
Like reaching
for my goals ,
making bread ,
holding my head
not spreading my legs
A diamond in the ruff
but you were too clueless
no good of me
Thought you knew the real me
Did you really think
I was dizzy broad with no goals dreams
all you see in me
Is what’s in your dirty dreams
But as time past me by
I see your thoughts
your lies
so it brought me to a place
Where the games
you play
hold no weight
as you continue
To count your steps
trying get in my head
Not realizing
that part my head
is dead
my heart is cold
as you continue to unfold
your truth I can’t respect ,
the pain you say
you have In Your chest
makes no sense ,
I’m the one that kept
you focused and off the street reaching for things
you couldn’t see .
But I’m wrong
because you dropped the ball and your mind couldn’t stay strong
I promised you
I would always be around
but how can I stay when
Youre not owning your crown .
Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Real men cry …

women were taught to feel
men were taught ,
not to feel
Is “keeping real”
See there’s nothing wrong with emotion In my eyes
As long as you don’t
lose focus
Crying is healthy
stop being so proud
So if crying yelling and screaming is what
you have to do
Whether you do it alone
Or reach for the one who loves you
Or cry to God
Ask him To renew the heart
God naturally
Gave to you
That was selfishly taking from you
Do it , don’t be ashamed we all feel
We are human , the same
There’s no way you can go all your days without one tear to follow your pain
Why wait until death is before your eyes
To thank god for your life
Crying is necessary
To cleanse your eyes
And heal your heart
That has been picked
Apart since you were young
“Man up , stop your whining , dry you tears ”
Real Men don’t cry ”
Never realizing we were all sold a bunch of lies
So before we call a man out his name for shedding his pain
remember it takes a real man
to shed a tear .
Or to show emotion when he’s hurt
So men ….
instead of holding your tears in
and suppressing your pain
I pray you realize it’s ok
Empty your window pain …
original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Hat low …

I’ve been asked 

why I wear 

my hat so low
That’s the to show
That I’m not trying 

to put on show
I’m humbly here 

 facing my fears
After all these years
It’s my time shine
but I don’t need to be seen
I rather be heard 

and respected
for words
so I get attention
I want my words
to leave you 

with a level of reflection
I want you dig deep
see if you sink to my level 

of  my thoughts

Without feeling like your lost
Or confused
trust me my words
might do that to you
men ,You might question your ways
Or how you treat your girl
And ladies, I might make you think
like why I am I still with this creep
or he deserves more then these words that come out my mouth
Or parents I may have you stuck
trying figure out where you messed up
and how to fix your relationship
so you and kids aren’t so distant .
See the words I speak
may make you feel like your giving in
and defeat is at your feet .
But I’m here to say
I’ve been through it all
and what pulled me
through is having faith in God
and continuing to stand tall
no matter 

How many times I may fall .

Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

A personal relationship with God is all you need

They say there’s no condemnation in God .
So how does this work ?
Should I hold in my feelings
And not release my hurt
Or should I continue to hide
My pain by tainting my soul
Because the words you are
Saying won’t let me let go
This makes no sense
I hear the scripture you say
But by example I hear a whole bunch of fear hiding your truth
Scared to talk to lost souls.
Why won’t your words set people
Why is it so difficult to say once
Upon time this was me
Or I still struggle today
We’re no different
We’re the same
You paint a picture of a perfect
One without hurt or disgrace
So when I sin it’s hurts so
Much more within
So I hide my face and try
To ease my pain while I’m fading
I’m sorry I can’t live up to your expectation of your perfect slave
Filled with guilt as we pray
Your orders are filled every single day
You fill your home with food I could eat
While you wear the best and
I sit around waiting for pain
In my chest to end
This doesn’t make any sense
So I close my eyes and open my heart and praise harder than before .
Your words I longer hear cause the Devils lurking at my door
I guess it time to believe in the truth and open the bible for so many are living proof
Just remember you scared me away
But that doesn’t mean I don’t pray or want change
So now it’s my time to tell my truth I don’t need your space to witness Gods grace Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

ADD? , I beg to differ !!!

Why won’t you look at me
Are your eyes blind to see
You’re only going to get one mother
Look me in my face
Stop looking away
Can’t you just focus on what you
What can I do
I do my best to love you
But your constantly treating me
Like a fool
I support you in anything you do
I try to convince you to
To love me to
I guess the dr is where we have to go
But I’m not going through the school
They’re not going to get the satisfaction
While prescribing a drug to shut
You up
I think it’s discipline
Is what you need
Consequences behind your bad deeds
Not something you washed down with water
To eAse our pain
Of once upon time living insane
Let me put this mirror to my face and realize what needs to change
“Get out my face, you’re annoying , can you find a friend ”
Those were the words I realized stuck in your head .
So before I tell the doctor your out of control
Let me look at myself and realize
I was the one who had to learn self-control … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

I rather a man

Hey you with your pants hanging so low
You couldn’t tell if life is moving fast or slow
Cause your stuck in your ways
You even stop praying for change
You let the streets dictate your ways
And you hope your words make a way
you treat your Queen like
She doesn’t deserve to be heard
After she serve your food and cleans the house
Take care of the kids
And helps your family out
You get mad when she takes care of herself or ask for help
You left her alone in more ways than one
Emotionally , physically and spiritually she’s sick
Because she’s loving a man
That won’t help her with shit
God forbid you help
with the kids or
Lift a finger or clean a dish
She’s all over all the love you give behind four walls
After all she does
Don’t you think She deserves more
Then what your body does
And if you don’t no worries time will show her the way
And the love you give will no
Longer ease her pain . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah

time to go

Mysterious and unseen
So I wore all black
And hid all my sins
Because I hated who I was
You can’t see me in the light
Cause the dark is where I shine
You won’t see my marks
Or my tattoos
I hated the truth
And all I’ve been through
But why does so many still want to get through
And lay with a black soul
That was so cold
That didn’t understand love
But fought so hard to never give up
Why am gravitating to someone
Like you
Don’t I deserve something
I hate the way you laugh
When I hurt
And get mad when I tell
You the truth
This shit hurts too much
Get your fist out my face
I didn’t flirt with your friend
I just asked him if he wanted
A plate
Let’s move from here
I’m sure you will change
3 bedrooms a little more space
You mother loves me so does all
Your family
I just don’t get why you constantly have to put your hands on me
I know I’m not perfect but your passive and aggressive ways
Makes everyone think I’m crazy
And you’re the one who is sane
I can’t live like this no more I need to get away
Drinking at work only masks my pain
I hate my life why do I deserve this pain
Take what you think belongs to you
I hope you understand what you’re doing
I’m not fighting
I told you my body doesn’t belong to you
But you take it anyway
So you can release your pain
While I cry out loud
Let me out of this fckin house
But your hands are firmly around my neck telling me if I leave the consequence is death
That doesn’t stop the way I move so I go to sleep like I have nothing to prove
Sun rises you’re heading to wrk
I can’t do this anymore !!! This isn’t going to work !!! Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

It starts with us …

Queen ,
Why must you
raise your
how beautiful you are
But how ignorant
you sound
Using the words
like nigga and bitch
I wonder if you teach your
kids that kind of language
And teach them
That’s the way
and address a man
What’s wrong
with you carrying yourself
With class and respect
Why do you sound like
Like a woman
that has no sense
It takes a lot for a woman
to be respected as it is
A real woman would
never call her man a bitch or nigga

Or refer to her man like
He ‘s still chained within .
It’s unfortunate that the
You can’t see the bigger picture
That because you’re to busy painting a phony one of what a real woman looks like

How do you expect respect
when you can’t even see
or refrain
from using a word
that was ignorantly
taught to he .
What’s so hard
about articulating
Yourself well
and letting your vocabulary
speak for itself
Instead of wondering
why some men
treat you the same .
Because you sound the same
So they can’t tell you apart .
So they decide to refer to you as the same
Do you understand the messages you’re sending
To our men
By owning those names
Exactly what the oppressor wants , oppressed and stuck in our ways . Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©