What more can I say ….

Time for you to see the real me not all you wanted me to be .
I’m a woman who stands her ground while she wears her crown ,
step up or step down .
I hope you don’t think I’m going to always be around
waiting on you to change your moods or think about all that I do .
Thinking it’s all about you , what about me don’t you think I deserve love to .
Forget about you for a minute stop and listen to the rhythm in my heart what it beats for is clearly different . How can you say you’re in love when you clearly don’t understand my unique ways .
Am I to passive with things I say or would you rather me in your face screaming to get my point across
or would do you want me to belittle and degrade you by yelling and screaming you need to change ,
I’m not going to take it to that level nor dance with the devil . Maybe I’m to healthy for you
maybe you’re not ready for the truth maybe you need to feel alive so you need to feel pain in order to remember you’re still breathing …
I wanted to be your breath of fresh air but I’m clearly feeling like I’m here for a reason or maybe a season prayed for a lifetime but not the way you have me feeling .
So step up or step down what do you want to do step up or step down it’s all on you …
You have me feeling like a fool living without a clue
when it comes to you remembering all the things you said
adding the shit up in my head . So now I realize your words are true
but your heart was broken before so you don’t really know how to go about my truth .
So you take a different route as I continue to do without not knowing if your going to figure this out .
So you keep your guard and hold your ground and hope that no one ever sticks around ..
but what about love what about life what about time that’s passing u by . I can’t tell you any lies this is something I can’t disguise … may be I’m wrong for what I say
and if I am I won’t stand in your way
I just want you to understand what I feel cause my feelings are nothing less than real . So take the time and read this slow and maybe you’ll find out something you didn’t know … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

I forgive you , I forgive me ….

Confused about life
confused about love
even confused about the man from up above
How can you value life when life never valued you .
learning to love was the hardest thing to do
coming from a place that wasn’t average along with being so passive
finding out all the things
never knowing my mother past or
why my father had to pass .
Hurting on all levels so I singe my skin
hoping someone will look a little harder deeper then all my sins .
Notice me please I just need to be seen
please mommy don’t forget about me ,
I’m just a little girl
trying to find her way
so you take me by my hand and now we are on our way
never did I expect to be replaced
one of the hardest things I had to face
.I became bitter sad but true
I hated you so much I didn’t know what do .
As time went on I realized we were so alike but different in hindsight .
Now that I have my kids and I clearly understand what it is you initially planned .
Unfortunately the drug took over your heart
and you and all your kids had to part .
I don’t blame for all you did you were deprived as a kid .
Deprived of love and peace in the heart
so many raped you from the very start .
So now I stand tall and understand your truth and all the things you wanted to do .
So my promise to you and my kids I will be victorious I promise I will win !!! Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

You said it best !!!

You said it best ,
All is fair in love and war …
you’re the reason I still stand tall .
I watched you fight when I was a kid and never give in .
You taught me how to handle myself in the streets and never allowed me to accept defeat ,
as you handled yourself with class grace
regardless to all things you had to face .
Your strength amazed and so did your mind
it was only a matter of time
that I learn move the way you did .
You smiled when you hurt and laughed when you cried
so no matter what no one ever knew you were dying inside . You loved genuinely
even though you fought through the truth
and let no one know how all your demons had a hold of you .
But I can relate cause that’s fight I had to face
and I had to learn to survive no matter what was killing me inside .
But when I think back to when I was kid
I remember a mom that never gave in . I salute you and your heart and the fight fought even though our time was cut short . Just know your love was more than enough
to make me never want to give up !!! Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Can’t be her …

I’m far from scorned
my heart loves the same
I will never lose faith or play mind games .
No ones perfect and this I know
so I’ll never sell you dream
or not tell you what’s next because the level
I’m on I’m not easily impressed .
I don’t pray for a dream I believe in what’s real .
The good the bad all things you feel .
I’m not scared of the truth and I want to continue to grow
so feel free to tell me things I don’t know .
I won’t judge your truth and pray you don’t judge mine . We had a life before so experience
is not a crime . As long as you respect who I am today
and the things I believe in and the things I say . I’m not against compromise
but i’m against sacrificing who am I , I can’t allow myself to be her all over again … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Truth be told ….

keep it real …Can you look beyond my eyes and see my soul .
Can you see I’ve been living in a world so cold .
I smile so you never feel hurt or rejected
but please don’t take my kindness and turn it into something I’m not .
I’m not looking for a man to undress me with his eyes or check out my thighs
while he tell me bunch lies about what he sees in my eyes .
And the truth is all you thinking about is sliding in between
my thighs and adding to pain
and forgetting my words
as you state your case about how you want to change
and be better man and talk about the things you can’t stand
and the woman who did you wrong
mean while it was you all along .
You take no responsibility with where you went wrong
because all along you enjoy games
never thinking you would find a woman like me
everything you said you wanted her to be .
So now I call your bluff
and your exactly who you always been
selfish man thinking about only you
and how you feel not caring about my feelings
or listening to my truth . I didn’t deserve that
pain because you’re to busy living a lie after all this time
I now realize . I told you
I would be the beast
one that didn’t bow to the thought of defeat
one that would only land on my feet . So I won’t waste my time questioning where I went
wrong because clearly it was you all along … Original By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©