Stop jading our youth !

This is for all the artist
Who disrespects and belittle woman
Humble yourself
Before God does
Stop Treating woman
like you’re better
then the man up above
All glory goes to God
the truth
Or you will be fighting
to reach level
You’ll never get to ,
God sees all
It’s ok
to tell the world.
You don’t know it all
and you fight to survive
Stop fronting
like you have it
all together
You know you can
do better
And you have more to learn
About yourself
Stop putting on a show for the world
Your insecurities
shine bright
Like the watch
you put before you go out
at night
Or that fake ass earring that’s shinning like the star
you’re not ..,
judging a woman
For a bag she wears
or the shoes she rocks
Or the label of her clothes
It just shows me who you are
Hiding behind your shades acting like you can’t see
I see Through your soul blockers
I really see you
A reflection of the devil
you’re a facade
, a Fugazi
A fraud , a phony
a fake
The little money you have defines you
your music to me sounds
like a mask that hides your truth
your ring resembles the pain your watch symbolizes
how time is running out
and the brand of your sneakers tell me you actually care what the world thinks of you .
And the way you carry yourself shows me I’m right .
Pants hanging low
so you can remind us Queens daily the type of man we should never deal with
I’m praying we all follow suit … All Queens rise
never deal with a man
and his pride
and man who doesn’t know
how to act as a king and treat a woman like queen
. I’m tired of hearing
about hos and bitches
I’m tired of listen to false knowledge and feeding our kids false hope and selling them empty promises
by speaking vanity into their heart .
Leave the our future alone if you don’t have one of your own …. Now that’s law !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

I support my child …

I’m being pulled away
from my world
being forced to fight
Ego , pain and pride
set aside
Separation is part of a vicious game
If you ask me , child support ,
I get it …
But how does that make me feel
I support my child on more levels than one
and you know that’s real
But you want more
When I see you give me hell
Because you want to know
who’s calling my phone
Like that has anything
to do
The parent , I am
You don’t want me happy
So you hold my child over head
This isn’t fair ,
I want this pain to end
but it’s never enough
Your mad at me for things I did
that has nothing to with the situation at hand
All I care about
is if our child stand a chance
A broken home is never what
I wanted
Tears run down my face
I’m loosing focus
Your pushing me in a corner
by playing these mind games
Your selfish thoughtless ways
can never see things my way
All I care about
is our child’s well-being
And all you want to do is be deceiving
And lie to the world about the person I am
When you know damn well
The parent I am .
Stop playing games
lying telling the world
where we went wrong
That has nothing to do
with our child at all
Stop involving our child
in these mixed emotions
Their confused enough
Birthdays are separate ,
holidays shared
Do you think that’s fair
Being a parent
is the only that should matter
at this point
Stop for minute
stop thinking
about you and sit back
and think what a heart like yours
is going to do
Resentment , anger and pain
is going to run through child’s veins because you couldn’t see the bigger picture
Instead you rather
let your ego ,
pride and pain show you the way .
Please let’s get it together
I want our to child
to see better …original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

My strength …

Loving you gave me strength
A strength that was heaven-sent
A strength that forced me to fight
A strength that never died
A strength that gives it best
A strength that’s put to the test
A strength that allowed me to reflect
A strength that continues to make my heart beat
No matter my situation , trial or tribulation your love forces me to grow
A Strength that makes me never settle for less
A Strength that only wants the best
Strength that will kill anyone
Who touches my heart or my reasons
A Strength that is set apart from the fight
if it were only me
I thank you for all you do
This is to my children that gave me the muscles behind my arms
When I had to pick up and go again
This is to my children that could never be replaced by anyone or anything
This is to my children that understand my complex ways
This is to my children I love all you are
This is for children never stop reaching for the stars
This is for my children
I’ll support your dreams till the death of me
This is my childrenI just want see you smile and give you best of me
This is for my children you sometimes give me hell
This is for my children I wouldn’t trade you for the world !!! Original by Rachel Shundari Ullah

Good old 80 proof …

I was abandoned by my father , oh how that pain hurt so bad , I was abandoned by mother oh how that pain made me sad

I tried to have sex at a early age
And kissed every boy I didn’t care if he was older and a lot more mature
Flirting became a lot more fun to me watching men look at me like I was meat
Until I bumped into a few
That took advantage of my mind
So I gave it away freely
And some took it cause they choose me when I was blind to

I didn’t understand what I did
I was only showing them what I was taught as a kid
My life confused them I’m sure
That’s the truth

But how can I hide my truth
Clearly I was living proof
The pain hurt my heart and the truth
I had to hide
Can’t you see my skin is burnt and told many lies
Can’t you see I’m screaming out for you to see
Something bad happened to me
This is not who God intended for me to be

But the devil choose in the beginning
What he thought of me
To give me a reason to give in
And become a whore or an addict
But God didn’t allow me to accept that tactic

every time
I tried something new
He hit me worse than the truth
But the devil found his way to always get
And it was that good old 80 proof

And drinking too much showed me proof
So I took that 80 proof to the
Head as I hated life
Didn’t realize that 80 proof Wanted me dead mentally , physically and spiritually

that 80 proof always gave me the proof of who I didn’t want to be
Cause in the day time I loved my
Kids and family above me original by Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

Blue law exposed !!!

Uniformed gangsters knocking at my door
Let me hurry up and answer the door
My kids are sleeping I don’t want them to witness my truth
of me being under the influence
Of the Devils juice
So let me step outside and explain what I have to say
Please get out of my face
Look at my car
I had a few glasses of wine …
You must have been in your Glory after
That line .
So you shove a breathalyzer in mouth
As you continue to scream and shout
These handcuffs are tight can you loosen them up
stop shouting things out

I can do without
the reminder of my past
But I’m sure you already know my name
you’re making me angry
I didn’t crash !!!

I’m sure you can see it in my eyes
Now I can’t see
Past all your lies .
Now my daughters watching her mother sin
I’m sick to my stomach can we just fix this
Don’t take off my cuffs
Take me away
I rather not stay
I don’t care about my earings my chain or my watch
I rather vouch that shit
But the Devils eyes
Won’t respect what I say …
this exactly what you planned from the door .
Now I can’t breathe , what is happening to me I don’t deserve
The pain I’m feeling
I’m not fighting back
but there’s a knee in my back and an elbow to my head
Oh my god
I think they want me dead
Is it cause my name
or you don’t like my skin
or the block I live on
What the hell is happening !!
Original: true story … by Rachel Shundari Ullah ©

I get it …

Satan I rebuke you in Jesus name this is one game you shouldn’t of played .
My swords are sharpened and I’m ready for war …
fought from beginning although I made mistakes
Drinking to much , lying , insecurity and conforming
was a problem years ago , but not anymore ,
I won’t open that door .
I choose wrong but never in vain . I just wanted a family and someone to feel me and understand my pain .
I held my pain in for as long new . The Shame made me Lie because I wanted something new . Should I be blamed for caring so much and loving my kids including his and doing by best to hold it together while falling apart .
While the season changed and I learned new things
I seen everything I hated in my heart within me and he but something about this journey God wouldn’t let me part .
I cried so many nights and shed so many tears what exactly brought me to this trying year . Was this planned am I alive for the very first time am I no longer dying inside .
Has God really saved my life !!! Am I no longer living in the dark can I see past all things that use to be me . Am I finally free !!! By Rachel Shundari Ullah

Love over Hate !!!

The evil is felt but my faith is stronger .
I can longer live with life on my shoulders .
My heart hurts
but I don’t feel the pain because the devils thoughts have fade away .
I don’t need anything to get me by
I just want real love one day in my life that follows my change .
The day my faith changed was the day I realized we are all the same .
Sometimes we curse , some times we gossip , sometimes we lie , sometimes we cry , sometimes we stray sometimes we pray sometimes we do things to take the pain away .
But never do we forget heavens face and we do or best to change our ways .
Don’t forget to tell it all
as you preach about making it to heavens door .
I can’t live up to the standards of who you want me to be , I can only be the best me I can be … By Rachel Shundari Ullah ©